The two victims of last night's Burridge training session have been named as testicles, both belonging to Burridge manager Pete Lyons (pictured above). They were believed to have been struck in an unprovoked attack by a leather football as they hung in the shorts of Pete Lyons as he kept goal during a six-a-side match. Onlookers were in shock. 'I just didn't see it coming,' said an unnamed source who witnessed the accident. 'Pete hadn't saved a thing all night.' Others were quick to highlight just how unfortunate Pete's testicles were. 'Before that moment the football had preferred to go anywhere but near the goal.' Pete's testicles have yet to comment.
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