Showing posts with label training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label training. Show all posts

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Balls to training


The two victims of last night's Burridge training session have been named as testicles, both belonging to Burridge manager Pete Lyons (pictured above). They were believed to have been struck in an unprovoked attack by a leather football as they hung in the shorts of Pete Lyons as he kept goal during a six-a-side match. Onlookers were in shock. 'I just didn't see it coming,' said an unnamed source who witnessed the accident. 'Pete hadn't saved a thing all night.' Others were quick to highlight just how unfortunate Pete's testicles were. 'Before that moment the football had preferred to go anywhere but near the goal.' Pete's testicles have yet to comment.

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Thursday, 28 January 2010

Training: Ben Rowe forgets

(pictured above) Ben Rowe (in blue and black stripes) rushes to scene. Intimidatingly tall trees are of no consequence when a tabby cat needs rescuing.

Ben Rowe woke up in his clothes. It was dark. For a second he didn't know where he was. The chest of drawers gave it away. It was his bedroom. It was Wednesday after work. He was lying on his bed. When he arrived at Wildern Leisure Centre for training he told Burridge manager Pete Lyons, that he didn't feel well. “You look pale,” said Pete. He looked like shit. “Come to sweat it out have you?” Ben didn't answer. His face was mostly hidden under a woolly hat and a hood. What was on show was unshaven. He apologised for forgetting his three quid training money. He said he forgot last week too. He was honest and forgetful. It's a dangerous combination. In the game of six-a-side at the end of training he shouted for the ball. Jonesy rolled it to him. Somebody nicked off his foot. Ben threw his hands in the air. Why didn't anyone tell him he had a man up his arse? He thought it would be good to get back to bed. He wouldn't forget where he was this time. Least he hoped he wouldn't.

This Saturday Burridge go to Green Park, Millbrook, to play Bush Hill in the cup. Kick off is at 1:45pm.

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Monday, 11 January 2010

Only one game played since November 7th

(Above) Bryn Schwodler during hibernation on the kitchen floor of 21 Ranelagh Gardens sometime in 2006.

After losing a weekend to absinthe and darts, Burridge are ready to return to training this Wednesday evening now Wildern Leisure Centre's outdoor football pitch has been passed fit for play. Happy 31st birthday to Bryn Schwodler on Tuesday 12th. It's now thirteen years spent listening to Kristian Hewitt going off on one at you in Burridge colours.

Also, congratulations to Lee Fielder this evening for simultaneously negotiating the running machine at his flat complex's gym while keeping his shirt on despite having had his nipple pierced only hours earlier. With a mirror straight ahead of him we know what an achievment this was.

I'll be in touch if Wildern change their mind.

Friday, 31 July 2009

Running scared?

Reflecting on Burridge's pre season training so far.....



Not all Burridge players enjoy running. Paul Andrews certainly doesn't. A three mile run could put his back out for weeks, but so could a walk down the shops. He along with over half the twenty man squad are over 30 years old, so when this year's pre-season training concentrated on short sprints, instead of long runs along Netley's stony beach, there was a collective sigh of relief. With a month of training now under their belts, Burridge have 8 pre-season games in 24 days, before the start of the Drew Smith Southampton League season.

As always, optimism at the club is rife. What it's actually based on isn't entirely clear. Finishing one place above the relegation zone last season was in stark contrast to the runners-up spot the sport's pages of the Southern Daily Echo had predicted. Players at the club have never been shy in sharing their personal expectations for the season ahead. Anyone banking on them ever coming to pass runs the risk of dying disappointed.

When Bryn Schwodler, returning to the club two years ago after a spell at Romsey Town, said he was going to take the Southampton League by storm, it was assumed that he meant by some energetic displays on the wing, and perhaps a handful of goals, rather than an 84 day suspension from the Hampshire FA , for reacting to his sending off against BTC by throwing a chewed wad of Wrigley's gum in the direction of the referee's goatee beard.

Exactly how fit the squad is remains to be seen. While improvements in fitness have been made, in well attended training sessions, some players have been totally spent of their energies when it gets to the six inch leg lifts. This exercise involves lying flat on your back and lifting both legs together six inches into the air for various intervals of time. Those who've been able to do this exercise have withstood it for longer periods of time as the weeks have gone on, with some now able to keep up with manager Pete Lyons. He is 53 years old.

Press-ups force upon each player an unwelcome insight into the most personal aspect of their colleague's private lives. Players are lined up closely together, lifting themselves off the low wooden fenced perimeter of Netley country park. Arms shake as they push themselves up straight, while contorted facial expressions give way to barely contained grunts of toil on each unsteady thrust. Many player's partners have recently given birth, or are due to. Faced with this grisly display of press-ups, one is left to assume that conceiving a child is far more straight forward than some people would have you believe.

Training is always finished with a match. Any of the dog walkers unfortunate enough to witness one of these games would have legitimate reason to believe that an adult game of statues was taking place, such is the amount of time the ball is lost in thick thorn branches. The league's decision to make the senior division larger means more games. Taking into account the upcoming friendlies and cup games, Burridge could play up to forty matches in 2009/10. Any players wanting to be in contention to play in a significant number of these games will need to remain fit. A spot of running could well do the trick.

Monday, 13 July 2009

Training racket

Sadists

Lee Fielder finished last Wednesday's two hours of ball breaking exercise on the shore of the Solent by running home. This first pre-season training session was too easy as far as he was concerned. To put this in context he also thought it was acceptable to arrive at training dressed in long sleeved skin tight black Lycra.

So rather than driving him to his front door, Kristian Hewitt dropped Lee off at Sundays Hill as requested and left him to run home in 25 minutes flat. Exactly how Lee's opinion got back to Burridge gaffer, Pete Lyons, is not as pressing an issue to the rest of the squad as how Pete will react during this week's session. Chances are he'll take the intensity up a few notches. Not something that'll endear Lee to many of the squad, who were forced to opt out of several drills to blow hard out their backsides.

From somebody who was carrying Rich 'Chinese-Monkey' Allan on his shoulders during the piggy back relays, I thought it was a perfectly adequate physical test for a first session back in the saddle. When Kev Willsher consoled me by saying that carrying 14 stone of Richie was a tall order, my reaction was when exactly did Richie lose 2 stone? With all this exercise and preparation I sincerely hope Lee can play for a whole season for the first time since 2004.

Looking back (bringing back the blog)

I haven't posted here since 2012 – that’s five years of not blogging. The blog is/was about Burridge AFC, the football team I played f...