Showing posts with label dissent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dissent. Show all posts

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Burridge AFC 7-1 Southampton BTC Vets

Burridge finished their pre-season fixtures by scoring all eight goals in a 7-1 win over Southampton BTC Veterans at Botley Road on Wednesday night. This report was written shortly after blaming some inconsistent performances solely on the Adidas Adinovas I have worn seven times, and making an impulse buy of a pair of Adidas Kaiser Ligas from Sportshoes.com. You can get the very latest Burridge news by joining the club's Facebook page, here, and Twitter feed, which is here.


My two piece navy blue shell suit

I was met at Burridge by Martyn Barnett, who along with several other of our players, had finished putting up the goal nets. He had something to tell me.

“Chris Pye was on his backside,” he said, “it was me who laid on the goal.”

It took me a second to work out what Martyn meant. Then the penny dropped. He was referring to my previous match report, where I'd credited Chris Pye, and not himself for setting up our winning goal against Hedge-End Rangers reserves. Clearly someone was paying attention.

Once again, injuries had trimmed our eighteen man squad down to twelve fit players. Many of us arrived in the new Burridge tracksuits which club manager, Paul Dyke, had bought for just over a £100. I too had worn mine. It's a navy blue two piece shell suit made by Jani, which no doubt alerted the suspicion of the security guard inside Tesco on Burgess Road, when I stopped in for a Lucozade. Back in my car I heard a nasty ripping sound coming from the stitching in the garment's shoulder when I reached over to my glove compartment. Fortunately, no damage appears to have been done.


It's all referee's fault, says referee

I recognised our referee as he arrived in the club car-park and asked him how his pre-season has been going.

“You know what?" He said, “players just don't want to button it. The season hasn't started yet and I've already given four yellow cards and sent a player off.”

There was a slight delay when I asked if he was still enjoying refereeing.

“I dunno,” he said, working a mint around his jaw, “there's too much lip from players these days."

Just when I was ready for him to blame the dissent on a copy-cat culture of the Premier League teams, the conversation took an unexpected development, when he said:

"The thing is, most of it is the fault of referees.”

He was casting a portion of blame in regards to dissent at the door of the refereeing establishment.

“Too many referees don't take charge. Standards have dropped - they really have. If I ever do give up and become an assessor, that's the one question I'll be asking myself: does this referee take charge?”

There was no chance of the referee not taking charge tonight. From my experience, this referee didn't tolerate any dissent whatsoever. I'm always amazed when players chose to ignore this. BTC went down to ten men mid-way through the second-half, when one of their centre-halves talked himself into a red card. As he continued to argue over a penalty decision, I heard him say: “Well fucking send me off then.” The referee obliged, but the centre-half wasn't finished yet. "Know what, Gra? You used to be a good ref."

Given that this player was over the age of thirty-five, (that's the minimum age requirement to play veteran's football), and on first name terms with the referee, it seemed inconceivable he would get himself sent off. Surely he knew what was coming next when he effed and jeffed it out with the man in black. But that's the game sometimes. It doesn't matter how old you are, or how many games you've played - not many of us can look at ourselves in the mirror and say we haven't succumbed to our base instincts at some time or another during play. Kristian Hewitt then scored the first of two second-half penalties. This after Dan Jackson and then Chris Pye had given us a two-nil lead at half-time.

Friendly fire

At 2-0, nobody batted an eyelid when Sam Hewitt finished a sequence of possession amongst the back four with a pass back to goalkeeper, Ryan Jones. It was just another day at the office for the stand in centre-back, with an assured and composed performance. But then something freaky happened. His back pass skipped up high off the longish grass and arced over Jones' head. Now Jones had himself a problem. He was under attack from friendly fire and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. He chased after the ball, but ended up with it caught in the net like a prime catch of mackerel. We all stood there in a state of shock. Sam Schwodler broke the silence.

"I'd have been bollocked for doing something like that," he shouted.

He'd taken some fairly loud criticism during the game for getting caught offside, which he seemed to have taken personally. Sam Hewitt stood there trying to detach himself from events of the previous thirty seconds. After the lord mayor's show of the derby games with Hedge-End we had a pretty underwhelming attendance of what I estimated at two: the injured Kev Willsher and Martyn Barnett's girlfriend. So, Sam can count himself lucky that nobody was present to capture the moment on camera and stick it on YouTube. Not all footballers are as lucky as Sam. Remember Wayne Hatswell? He got himself into a real mess here. Match of the Day pundit and former Arsenal full-back, Lee Dixon, didn't cover himself in glory here.

Sam Hewitt, (in stripes), reflects on his 'friendly fire' on Burridge goalkeeper, Ryan Jones

Sam's own goal didn't effect the outcome of the game. By time we had a 4-1 lead, BTC were down to ten men. Space and further goals came from Sam Schwodler and Marc Judd, whose cameo appearance up-front resulted in two goals.


Burridge line-up (4-4-2): GK: Ryan Jones, LB: Mark Sanderson, CB: Dave Williams, CB: Sam Hewitt, RB: Mark Reeves, LM: Chris Pye, CM: Martyn Barnett(c), CM: Kristian Hewitt, RM: Dan Jackson, CF: Lee Fielder (Marc Judd), CF: Sam Schwodler.

Burridge kick-off their Southampton League season next Saturday at home to Netley Central.



Thursday, 17 September 2009

Dissent

Jesus holds arms out in dismay after getting his marching orders from Darth Vader.

We'd been doing so well getting on with referees this season, but three games into a new season have resulted in three yellow cards. The referee has written the necessary report to the Hampshire football association, who forwarded the paperwork to the club. Up until a few years ago there was a tendency for referees to not bother sending in the paperwork that a yellow or red card warranted because it took up more of their time. By doing so the guilty player would have no fine to pay. These days referees are far more thorough. If you do get booked this season you can find out if you've been issued the standard £8 fine by clicking here.

Greg Baker's ability to consistently score penalties, (up 'til now he's scored 17 successive spot kicks), is almost matched by his knack of picking up bookings for dissent. He got another against Sway.

Bryn Schwodler had his name taken for some good old fashioned time wasting, kicking the ball away from the opposition to delay them taking a free kick.

Ben Rowe was the most unlucky of the three. His crime was coming onto the field as a substitute too quickly for the referee's liking. As a result, the club will pay his fine.

Under normal circumstances Sam Schwodler would be applauded for getting this far into the season without any referees asking for his name. This achievement has been undermined by the fact he's not yet featured for Burridge this season, having been suspended until 27th September.

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Saturday 5th April


Sight to behold

A persistent back injury kept Kev Willsher out of the game he loves dearly for almost eighteen months. But against Michelmersh he was once again an absolute colossus at the heart of Burridge's defence. Opposing centre forwards are going to have to rethink their strategy when playing against him. I'd suggest exposing him to kryptonite. The only sight more impressive on a fine Saturday afternoon was that of his sister on the sidelines. Truly magnificent.

(Pictured above) Kev Willsher, upstaged by sister.

Naughty Boy

It came as no surprise when Sam Schwodler was sent off during the second half for swearing at the referee. What was surprising was that this was his first ever red card. It was a bit like waking up next to Paris Hilton and finding out that last night was the first time she'd ever had it up the chuff. It's probably fair to say that Sam Schwodler doesn't spend his spare time tuning into the Antiques Roadshow and reciting Keats to his pregnant girlfriend. But just because he has a total disregard for the smoking ban in pubs by his sixth or seventh turbo-shandy, isn't reason to assume he's been sent off before. One should only base that assumption on the fact that the 26 year old has bellowed the really bad swear word, the one that girls aren't too keen on, in the face of nearly every referee in the county.

(Pictured above) Sam Schwodler gets red card from referee.

What a tart

The English Summer of 2009 was about an hour and 17 minutes old when Lee Fielder decided to take his shirt off. As soon as the sun comes out he develops this terrible aversion to clothes and starts walking near anything in a skirt whilst tensing his stomach muscles and showing off that sculpted physique of his. I make fun of him when he starts doing this because firstly, I think he's a ponce, and secondly because I'm jealous I can't do likewise without kids getting upset when I tell them I'm neither Austin Powers or working at the local circus.

(Pictured above) Sammy Hewitt makes it 4-0 to Burridge.



This week Burridge gaffer, Pete Lyons went with a 4-4-2 formation:

GK:Ben Stanfield
RB:Jay Schwodler (Ryan Jones)
CB:KevWillsher
CB:Marc Judd
LB:Me
LM:Bryn Schwodler
CM:Rich Allan (Mark Reeves)
CM:Justin Newman
RM:Kristian Hewitt (Greg Baker)
CF:Sam Hewitt
CF:Sam Schwodler – red card for dissent

Burridge Goals were scored by:

1-0 Bryn Schwodler - kept it low from the edge of the box.
2-0 Their goalkeeper diverted the ball into his own net.
3-0 Me - header, after Bryn headed across from the back post
4-0 Sammy Hewitt - Nonchalantly lobbed the ball over the goalkeeper's head.

Next week Burridge get on the 17 seater mini-bus for the journey to Liverpool for Richie Allan's stag do.

Kick off is 8:30am.

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Durley 2-1 Burridge AFC

Lost tempers lose games

Saturday 7th March
Kytes Lane, Durley

Kevin Willsher was pissed right off. Burridge hadn't been awarded a penalty kick, and had he a gun handy there's every chance that he would've drawn it from his black Umbro shorts and blown a big hole in the match officials head. As it was he ran towards the referee, yelling at him to, 'open his fucking eyes,' to which the referee responded by pulling a yellow card from his top pocket, showing it to the Burridge defender, who made his way back to his position thinking about .44 Magnums.


Burridge have now clocked up 23 yellow cards this season. With each one carrying an £8 fine, the sum owed by the club to the Southampton football association totals £184, without even taking into consideration the £33 Ryan Jones was docked for his red card dismissal against Comrades. To think he'd only been on the field for ten minutes. Club captain, Kristian Hewitt, followed Willsher into the referee's book for dissent, and although unable to remember exactly what he said, was sure he included the words, 'wanker' and 'cheating bastard.'

Greg Baker had already conceded a penalty when he received his third booking in four weeks, again for dissent. Too often this season Baker's temper has gotten the better of him. It's come to my attention of late that the curtains of his flat are drawn closed, he doesn't return my telephone calls, and they'll be no second date with that girl, leaving one to wonder what inner demons he's wrestling with. Suddenly it all becomes so clear.....(pictured below: Greg Baker during more relaxed times).















She couldn't have been sober. No, it must've been the third glass of dry white wine that convinced her to go back to Baker's flat, but she slipped on those damned stairs, fell back and hit her head on the stone foyer floor. Blood trickled from her ears as he checked her pulse. Not a dicky-bird. Nobody would believe it was an accident, not with that viscous temper of his. But Baker couldn't face doing time. So it was many hours later under the cover of darkness, 4:27am, her body safely despatched off the side of the Itchen bridge that he returned home to bed for a few hours of fitful sleep. Let go, Greg. It wasn't your fault, but your cover has been blown.

We all have our little nuances, Greg. The sound of cutlery banged together sends Bryn Schwodler to his knees begging for mercy, while Lee Fielder would rather roll his car off the M27 than have the volume of his digital stereo set to an odd number, and you dispose of the bodies of women who refuse your sexual advances into the choppy waters of the Itchen River. Hey, don't get short with me, I'm merely seeing it through the crooked eyes of the law. Tell you what, square the £24 tab you owe with club and we'll say no more about it.

The Burridge XI that lost 2-1 to Durley were......

GK:Stanfield
RB:Baker (Reid) yellow carded
CB:K.Hewitt (c )yellow carded
CB:Willsher - yellow carded
LB:Me
LM:B.Schwodler
CM:Allan
CM:S.Hewitt
RM:J.Schwodler
CF:Judd (Andrews)
CF:S.Schwodler - scored to pull it back to 2-1

Last word goes to club captain, Kristian Hewitt, in philosophical mood after this latest defeat.

"Referees are just freaks who wanted to play football, but can't."

Looking back (bringing back the blog)

I haven't posted here since 2012 – that’s five years of not blogging. The blog is/was about Burridge AFC, the football team I played f...