BURRIDGE AFC 2-1 BISHOPSTOKE

Burridge notched their second win on the bounce against Bishopstoke. Many will recall that Bishopstoke were the opposition when Ginger-gate was born forty-two days earlier. This caused both the BBC and the tabloids to scrum fervently to get the truth behind this radical incident. This resulted in the general public daring to dream about the possibility of a utopian world, whereupon red haired individuals would be treated as equal members of society. The full impact of human rights activist Paul Dyke – the flame headed protagonist of what is now being called the hair war, and his moral crusade against the derogatory use of the G word, won’t be known for years, perhaps even decades. The history books will be those responsible for his immortal effigy. Dyke’s absence from this fixture, only served to fuel rumours of his fragile state of health as a result of constant media hounding.

Anonymous claims have been made of his sighting in dark glasses and long coat, about to flee the country by private helicopter to the Venezuelan capital of Caracas. Further speculation suggested his doing so is in order to lead a militant vigilante organisation known as the Ginger Panthers, who are financed by an unnamed underground consortium; whilst operating a strict code of zero tolerance to hairism. At the time of going to press this hasn’t been fully substantiated. Many Burridge players believed that Bishopstoke’s changed jerseys of bright orange were a coded message of solidarity to the missing centre-half. But again, this was never fully substantiated. Influential drifter Jaimie Hewitt put Burridge a goal up, when he calmly slotted home. Greg Baker made the game safe from the penalty spot after Bryn Schwodler’s weaving left wing run was stopped by foul means. ‘Stoke pulled one back late on, but it wasn’t enough.

4-4-2: S.Schwodler, L.Sanderson, S.Froud, M.Sanderson, J.Schwodler, J.Newman, M.Reeves, K.Hewitt, G.Baker, B.Schwodler, J.Hewitt. Unused sub: M.Birks

Scorers: J.Hewitt, G.Baker (pen)
Booked: J.Hewitt