Wednesday, 28 December 2005


Seasons greetings to all of you.

I think most of you know by now but just to let you know that due to my close encounter with a wall during a recent 5-a-side game I will not be playing for the foreseeable future. I will hopefully be looking to return around mid-Feb / March time. Annoying I have been told that I have to avoid all contact sport etc as a second blow to my head in this time could result in a nasty touch of death.

I still can’t remember the incident itself but have been told that after lying face down in the ground out cold for 2-3 minutes I got up and insisted on playing on, in which time I apparently scored twice, but at half time people were getting concerned for my health and general well-being as I couldn’t remember what the score was or why I was actually there in the first place!

Ps. Ross, sadly this means I wont be making training on Wednesdays for a while either. I’m sorry.

From Dave Hopkins

Sunday, 18 December 2005

Burridge AFC 2-0 AFC Spotted Cow

Sunday 18th December
Osbourne Road, Warsash

Taking into account Burridge's wretched form, one wondered how they would fare against the league leaders. The threadbare nature of the squad was not helped by injuries carried by Rich Allan and Ross Bryant, so Maurice decided to play them out of the way up front. Whilst Luke Sanderson - returning in place of the injured Andrews - and Paul Dyke (yes, Paul Dyke) were nursing hangovers. It appeared hopeless.

Reverting to a 4-4-2 formation, Burridge matched Cow's endeavour, and before long they were excelling it. Although no genuine chances were crafted for either side during the first half, Burridge's passing and movement was at a level that made you wonder why they were languishing in the league.

As the second half unfolded, Cow became more frustrated by Burridge's hunger and tenacity. There didn't seem to be any danger as Burridge attacked the left flank towards the metal fence end, but Ross Bryant's floated cross evaded Cow's keeper and nestled into the top corner. Cow looked amongst themselves disconsolately, they continued to pass but only tested Hopkins from range.

As the game entered the final ten minutes, Burridge began another swift attack. Bryn Schwodler and Greg Baker combined to centre to Ross Bryant who - after a bounce - drilled home number two. By now Cow had thrown in the towel, and if Allan had been more mobile there could have been further goals. But it didn't matter. Burridge had ended their poor form and the year, with the kind of satisfying victory that makes you remember why you play football in the first place.

4-4-2: Dave Hopkins, Luke Sanderson, Kev Wilsher, Paul Dyke, Mark Sanderson, Bryn Schwodler, Scott Burnet, Greg Baker, Jay Schwodler, Ross Bryant, Rich Allan


Survey 1-1 Burridge AFC

Saturday 17th December
Cutbush Lane

Amid low winter sun, it was Kristian Hewitt who gave Burridge a second half lead after Lee Wood had squared to him. This is how it stayed until the very last minute when Survey drew level.

3-5-2: Dave Hopkins, Paul Dyke, Ben Wilson, Ross Bryant, Rich Allan, Mark Sanderson, Steve Froud, Kristian Hewitt, Jay Schwodler (Mark Reeves), Lee Wood (Paul Andrews) Luke Sanderson), Bryn Schwodler

Other results:
Burridge Sports 4-1 Capital
Cadnam United 0-2 Academicals
Priory Rovers 0-3 Malvern
Solent WTL 4-0 Classic Comrades Res

Friday, 16 December 2005


I was confused. I was very confused. Hectar Rial may have scored the first winning goal in European Cup Final history, but was he Spanish and Argentinean, why did he have an abundance of alias - as so many South Americans do - was he Rial Laquia, Jose Hector, or just plain old Hector Rial? Like I said, it was confusing. Then I stumbled on something so utterly overwhelming that I wasn't sure if I could actually fully comprehend this discovery. I dare not spoil it, but if one logs onto they enter into a diversity of football knowledge unparalleled anywhere on God's green earth

Monday, 12 December 2005

Burridge AFC 1 - 3 West Meon

Sunday 11th December 2005
Burridge Rec

3-5-2 Dave Hopkins, Mark Sanderson, Paul Dyke, Kev Willsher, Ross Bryant, Greg Baker, Rich Allan, Scott Burnet, Bryn Schwodler, Paul Andrews, Jay Schwodler
H/T: 1-0

Hello everyone. I thought I'd let guest writers fill in the gaps - I'm suffering from a bout of writer's block. BUT, I have to mention that the league table makes for upsetting reading. As Spotted Cow have pulled out, we have only won once. The same amount of times Gems have!

This means we are second to bottom, as West Meon & Warnford have gone 2 points ahead of us with 4 games in hand! Played 9, won 1, drawn 4, Lost 4. Before Sunday's games we'd scored the same amount of goals as Gems.

Relegation battle on!

Friday, 9 December 2005


"Looking back it's so bizarre, it runs in the family, all the things we are. On the back seat of the car with Joseph and Emily, we only see so far -And we all have our daddy's eyes, looking back it's so bizarre." They were the words that would reverberate from my Dad's Ford Cortina on a Saturday Afternoon. The days before Saturday afternoon football, when I was too young to be left alone with my Lo-lo ball watching Fall Guy repeats. Radio Solent would tease us blind with news of a goal, by use of that familiar synthesized cliffhanger jingle. Presenter Grant Coleman would postulate further: "There's been a goal at...." Yes Grant, where? "At...The," yes, where? "There's been a G-g-goal," said Grant, far too aware of the attention he was drawing to himself. "At....The.......Wait for it!" Where Grant? Where? You fuckhound! This isn't pay per minute on Clubcall, I just want to know if Saints are now four down at Kenilworth Road! "There's been a Goal at Kenilworth Road," he said, finally. "Here's John Hughes to tell us more."
"Yes Grant," said the reporter, who later found himself in the commentating netherworld, covering F.A. Vase ties between Havant and Waterlooville versus Little Wallop under Lyme Regis. "There's been a goal at Kenilworth Road." I know there's a fucking goal at Kenilworth Road John, I've just had Grant Coleman prick teasing me for the last minute an a half!
By now I'm chomping down hard on my Fox Glacier mint - this is very precarious when
you've still got a head full of milk teeth. On it went 'til I was old enough to cruise 'round on my three speed Grifter on a weekend diet of Nerds - shortly before they were pulled from the market after a tip off that they were spiked with shards of glass. Well, if our pitch doesn't pass a pitch inspection tomorrow, we'll be able to relive those warm nostalgic climes.

Wednesday, 30 November 2005


Hello folks. Thought I'd lighten the mood. Luke won two tickets to the Strokes' low key gig at London's U.L.U last night. After strapping in our borrowed Arnold Schwarzenegger voice activated satellite navigation system - we were off. And, before long in the heart of West London. No queuing up for theses boys - no sir! We strolled to the front, stated our name, got our gold wristbands and hey presto! Once in, we noticed certain luminaries in our close vicinity, there was: Simon Le Bon and John Taylor from Duran Duran (accompanied by former squeeze Amanda De Cadenet - remember The Word, pre Dani Behr), Franz Ferdinand, Razorlight, Kelly Jones from Stereophonics (a midget, not as tall as Lee Fielder), Jarvis Cocker, the two from the Mighty Boosh, and as Kev will be pleased to know: Dean Learner from Darkplace. Not to mention Chris Morris (remember The Day Today & 'Jam? He had to keep a low profile after that spoof paedophile episode; I wanted to say I tried to get my Mum too stop buying the Daily Mail after all that, by refrained). But my favourite sighting was my number one tv presenter: Sarah Cawood - get in there. As the band came on stage around ten o'clock, Luke and I noticed we were standing among the critics - busily scribbling on notepads, and Steve Lamacq - undeniably pencil thin. Other than that, I saw Sean Hughes get punched in the face while he was minding his own business talking, and some woman was hounding Luke, asking him what band he was in. Ripper!

Sunday, 27 November 2005

Burridge AFC 3-5 Malvern

Saturday 26th November 2005
Venue: Burridge

Winter sunk its teeth into the afternoon in more ways than one as Saturday's cold mud was exposed to a topsy-turvy first forty-five minutes.
Wide grins, and imminent Colgate sponsorship became a distinct possibility as Lee Wood made it 1-0 and Kristian Hewitt 2-0 from the penalty spot. Then, all hell broke loose, as Burridge, pinned back in their area, succumbed to three goals, after Luke Sanderson's drilled half volley was tipped over and Kristian Hewitt's solo dribble tickled wide.

If the first half was judged in terms of films, then it was Chuck Norris going ape shit indiscriminately with an AK in Vietnam. The second half however, would have been slow moving with an unfeasible ending that bared no relation to its past. With five minutes on the ticker, Lee Wood headed the leveler, then, Burridge's stickmaster Hopkins went to gather a miss hit high ball which ended in tragedy. He dropped it. Malvern went berserk. A fifth goal followed as Burridge surged forward, and stand in centre back Mark Sanderson had his pass intercepted . Fiddlesticks!

4-4-2 Dave Hopkins, Jay Schwodler, Ben Wilson (Steve Froud), Paul Dyke, Luke Sanderson, Ross Bryant (Mark Reeves), Mark Sanderson, Rich Allan, Kristian Hewitt (Paul Andrews), Bryn Schwodler, Lee Wood,
unused sub: Dean Wall

Friday, 25 November 2005



1946: Born May 22 in Belfast
1963: Makes debut for Man Utd
1964: Northern Ireland debut
1965: United win the league championship
1968: Voted English and European footballer of the year
1970: Sent off for Northern Ireland for throwing mud at ref
1972: Quits United aged 26

Born: 22 May 1946

Club and country
Manchester United Debut: 1963 361 apps; 136 goals

Northern Ireland Debut: 1964 37 caps; 9 goals

1965: League title

1967: League title
1968: European Cup

Other clubs

Cork Celtic,
LA Aztecs,
Fort Lauderdale,
San Jose,
Brisbane Lions

Thursday, 24 November 2005

More pictures of 'Gorgeous George, the best thing since sliced bread,' or so my George Best LP says. Good god, if could play in any era in any league, it would be the National American Soccer League of the 1970's: Cruyff, Beckenbauer, Pele, astroturf pitches, sideburns, pom-poms and Bestie. Good bye George.

Monday, 21 November 2005

George Best

Contrary to how you may perceive him as a person; George Best was one heck of a player. At this rate, he might not see the week out. So while we muse on his wonderful talent, I remember that Colin didn't collect the subs on Saturday - or did you Colin? Anyway, enjoy the pictures. The colour shots are of George whilst he was playing in the most glamorous league in the world - The North American Soccer League, (N.A.S.L. for short), he turned out for the Fort Lauderdale Strikers and the L.A. Aztecs.

Sunday, 20 November 2005

Wickham Dynamos 2-0 Burridge AFC

Sunday 20th November 2005
Wickham Rec

This was a game that was largely dominated by Burridge. Wickham scored in each half, when the same player scored, unchallenged after Hopkins had parried free kicks. It could have been different - Paul Andrews struck the bar from point blank range and the referee chose to award a free kick in the penalty area for obstruction, when Paul Dyke clearly appeared to be pushed. But in general, it appeared Burridge were a little short on ideas. Hopkin's day was made all the more frustrating when he was booked for dissent, after being incensed at the referee's inability to spot a clear handball that almost led to a goalscoring opportunity. It is their third defeat on the trot.

3-5-2: Dave Hopkins, Kev Willsher, Ross Bryant, Mark Sanderson, Jay Schwodler, Luke Sanderson, Paul Dyke, Rich Allan, Scott Burnet, Paul Andrews, Bryn Schwodler

Spartans 1 - 1 Burridge AFC

Spartans 1-1 Burridge AFC
Saturday 19th November
Venue: Green Park

The dark grip of last week's defeat was eclipsed at Green Park. Spartans were hurried, chased and kicked - as Burridge foraged for points with the desperation of disorganized squirrel at Autumn time. What may have appeared as corner practice for Spartans almost led to a Burridge goal. Ross Bryant took the ball deep into enemy territory, sending Bryn Schwodler clean through, but his control was heavy, much to the relief of the goalkeeper.

The second half almost became overshadowed by a tale of two hand balls. Bryn Schwodler was adjudged to have handled before rifling home from the edge of the box (he later blasted over from six yards from Lee Wood's head down), then with minutes to go Dave Hopkin's was penalized for carrying the ball outside the area from a drop kick.

The initial victory, by delaying the taking of the kick, was made irrelevant as the ball appeared to clip the wall and bypass Hopkins into the net. Did Spartan's jubilant celebrations suggest that the show was over? Not if their goalkeeper had any say in proceedings. Not to be out done by Hopkins, he came flapping at a cross like a pissed up Ostrich. Lee Wood caught his mess, turned, and scored. Burridge's smash and grab raid was complete.

4-4-2: Dave Hopkins, Jay Schwodler, Paul Dyke, Ben Wilson, Luke Sanderson (Paul Andrews), Ross Bryant, Kristian Hewitt, Mark Sanderson (Dean Wall), Rich Allan, Lee Wood, Bryn Schwodler

Sunday, 13 November 2005

Aquaseal 4-3 Burridge AFC

Sunday 13th November
Wicor Rec
Back at the familiar surroundings of Wicor Rec, Jay Schwodler was led to reflect on what had been a fairly miserable weekend. After enduring defeat the previous day at the hands of our local rivals, then discovering he'd had sixty notes pinched, he'd assumed that he'd seen out any further bad luck. But, these things tend to come in threes. After enjoying an evening of casual boozing at the Bugle alongside esteemed colleagues such as Mr Allan, Mr Willsher, Mr & Mr Sanderson and the other Mr Schwodler, (Not to mention Lee Fielder), he went out into the cold night air for a curry. So far so good. In a cab home he realized his keys were missing. No drama there, he could kip down at his old man's house - couldn't he? No, like Mary and Joseph had discovered, there was no room at the inn. Sixty quid lighter, and by this stage aware that he'd lost the cap of his tooth, giving him the look of Peter Beardsley. He trudged from West End back to Grange Park, smashing a window (the vandal) to get a decent night's kip. Only to discover that he'd left the keys at Rossy's gaff all along - what a carry on.

Anyway, I digress. The game itself was like a Richard Keys wet dream, goals a plenty. Despite the fact that two games from the same division were taking place on adjacent pitches, the referee was conspicuous in his absence, leaving Maurice Hewlett to take charge. Rich Allan tucked home his sixth of the season (putting him one behind Bryn, what's happening Brynzil? The goals are drying up), there could have been a few more, but very quickly they'd gone 2-1 down to some long range shooting. Paul Andrews finished a flowing move by walloping home the equalizer, but at half time they were 3-2 down. Again Burridge equalized, when another sweeping move was finished at the second attempt by luckless Jay Schwodler
. But, it wasn't to be as Aquaeal avenged their cup defeat, by heading a winner.

3-5-2: Dave Hopkins, Mark Sanderson, Kev Willsher, Ross Bryant, Scott Burnet, Paul Dyke, Jay Schwodler, Rich Allan, Lee Fielder, Paul Andrews, Bryn Schwodler

Burridge AFC 1-3 Burridge Sports

Saturday 12th November
Titchfield Rec

What a game! End to end action. No attempts to break the substitution world record. And, late drama; but enough of the England game. Oh the misery. One-nil? Plenty of time. Two-nil? Well, we'd expect to score three anyway. Three-nil? Shellshocked. On the bright side we won the second half one-nil via Dykey's head. Then after the game, things got worse, when; the running water wasn't running, and; anyone who'd left money about their trousers had it nicked! I hope the dirty rat gets what's coming to him; at the hangman's noose! Bring it back, we'd all love to see public hanging. Hopefully the wondrous England performance will have provided everyone with some consolation after a fairly wretched day. Lastly, has anyone noticed that John Motson is struggling to cope with the excitement these days? After having an argument with himself on Michael Owen's competitive game scoring record, he appeared to reach sexual climax (in the company of Graeme Le Saux) at our winning goal.
Which brings me to his looks. Him and David Pleat could quite easily be brothers, and what with dirty Pleats mid eighties curb crawling antics, well? It's just imagery I've managed to convince myself to be true, they do bad things together.

4-4-2 Dave Hopkins, Ben Wilson, Paul Dyke, Jay Schwodler, Luke Sanderson (Paul Andrews), Ross Bryant, Rich Allan, Mark Sanderson (Mark Reeves), Bryn Schwodler, Kristian Hewitt, Lee Wood (Dean Wall)

Thursday, 10 November 2005


Let's have a look at the matches over the years with this week's opponents. I'll start with Sunday's opposition; Waterlooville Social Club (previously Waterlooville jubilee) who we've tussled with many times.

Actually Sunday will be our 14th meeting in five years. Here are the stats:


October-ish of 2000
Lost 3-5 away in League
Scorers: Bryn, Lee & Scott
Anyone remember? I know the day before I'd spent getting strip searched in Bitterne Cop shop - but that's another story. I know the pitch we played on we haven't played on since. Anyone remember know? Scotty was playing like he was on steroids in our blue and white hoops against their Barcelona style number, he came charging forward to score. This was the season when it rained everyday for 90 days and nights, so because of our cup runs we only played 6 league games, never actually playing the return game!

April 2001
Lost 0-1 away in Divisional Cup
Well this was played at the burger van ground - you know the one next to the stream and railway line. All I can recall here was that their goal came via a Mr Andrews back pass. Who remembers? It was a mid weeker and I was temping at the time and decided to take a day off in order to prepare.

October-ish 2001
Won 4-2 home in Dave Blunt Cup
Scorers: Lee 2, Jay, Kev
Oh yes. During the full pomp of the Whitfield days we put that lot to the sword at Burridge. As I recall I was going through a rather petulant stage of my career and kicked out at Ormerod - who went berserk. Result? A booking for him and nowt for me! If memory serves we wore our red whilst they began to wear yellow and red. Mind you there is bad news: in those days we were in the second tier of the Meon Valley, they the first. After several months spent patiently waiting who we'd face after aour cup scalp we noticed they were indeed still in the cup! It turned out old Whitters had made a boob with sighing players on! It was either Stu Newman or Nathan Daniels who were not fair game - and we were slung out of the cup.

Lost 1-2 home in league
Scorer: Matt Whitfield
It may have mid October but it was still scorching. I'm sure you'll remember that August 2003 was mental - at least 35 Celsius everyday!And guess who was out of work at the time? You guessed it - me. Anyway I digress, yeah, all I can recall is Meon Valley lady ref, sexpot Debbie was in charge. Once again Ormerod and I got our hand bags out, the start of a long courtship.

Lost 0-2 away in league
Not one that springs to my mind.

Drew 2-2 away in league
Scorers: Bryn, Paul Andrews
Who could forget Paul Andrews and his back heel finish? Were did it come from? Of course Rich Allan got his marching orders, as a feud still carries on today was born.

Lost 1-3 away in Pink Cup
Scorers: Kristian
Again not one that had much bite. I was suspended for this, but I remember Kristian's goal being a bit tasty.

April 04
Drew 2-2 home in league
Scorers: Bryn and Mark
A mid weeker at Titchfield Rec, as players make excuses to leave work before getting changed quick sharp. Bryn got a good 'un, then from our second half kick off Jay send a real beauty of athrough ball - TO THEM!
We go 2-1 up via my head, then Kev concedes last gasp penalty. After it's put away, Ormerod runs thirty yards to fgive me friendly slap accross chops - the indignity!

Lost 2-4 home in league
Scorers: Paul Andrews, Kristian (p)
We were lacking in fight that day, Actually that was my last game in midfield, what an impression I must have made!

Lost 1-2 away in league
Scorer: Rich
Oh yes - the dress rehersal! We played okay if I recall.

Lost 0-2 in Cup Final at Cams Alders
It rained. Lee got sent off. Rich missed a penalty, By some distance!

Lost 1-2 in Cup Final at Cams Alders
Sorry Scott it was an own goal not yours!

Drew 2-2 away in league
Scorers: Lee & Bryn
We played some decent stuff didn't we. We went down after about 20 seconds, and if it wasn't for the six seconds rule we might have won.

played 13
won 1
drew 3
lost 9
scored 19
conceded 30
That makes the average score about 2-1 to them, isn't about time we beat them? Scott- 9 defeats, it ain't pretty is it?

Monday, 7 November 2005


Well, you heard it from Ross (who works with the fixture secretary) that this Saturday's game is against Burridge Sports. We should have a squad of 14, as we're loosing Froudie, but have Mark Reeves and Bryn Schwodler to return. Obviously alot has improved since our 3-0 defeat so I thought I'd begin this post as means to begin the build up so that by match day we'll be chomping on the bit. In the past it has seemed to me that they've been more pumped up for the game than us, but I'm sure you'll all agree that we'll all be extremely motivated for this game.

Sunday, 6 November 2005

Gems v Burridge AFC: Game called off: waterlogged

Sunday 6th November
Wicor Rec
Game called off because of warthogs on pitch

After firstly driving to the game, (Greg Baker doing so from Guildford), getting changed, then getting out onto the field of play; the ref in his infinite wisdom decided to postpone the game. Despite the fact that four other games were taking place on adjacent pitchs. Oh well.

Otterbourne 2 - 1 Burridge AFC (Aet)

Saturday 5th November

Venue: Oakwood Avenue

Hampshire Intermediate Cup Round Two

Burridge produced a morale boosting performance, as they lost only after extra time against Wessex League opponents. Somewhat confused at Otterbourne's rather complicated and exhausting warm up routine, they preferred to take the leisurely approach by chatting about last night at the pub, or in Dean's case - rolling fags. Initially it seemed as though Burridge were quite perturbed at the prospect of chasing their opposing numbers for the entirety of an afternoon; but as the game progressed they managed to remain in the contest, despite going a goal down.

Although Otterbourne were sharper in their all round passing play (maybe the warm up is a beneficial factor), Burridge still managed to eek out a few scoring opportunities of their own (then again perhaps not). As in typical Burridge style, they began to play according to the opposition, in this case raising their game. Otterbourne may well have thought that the game should have been over, as their attacks were denied by some heroic defending. But in spite of this Burridge found an equalizer. Ross Bryant found Mark Sanderson on the right flank, whose cross was met by the head of Lee Wood; his downward header was glanced away by the keeper, but only onto the inside of the post, and Paul Andrews - fresh off the bench - wellied into an empty net, silencing the hordes of Otterbourne faithful.

Normally the shrilled whistle of the referee after ninety minutes would have signaled a well earned point for Burridge. But, this is cup football, and they had another thirty minutes to play with the possibility of a penalty shoot - which for people of a certain age instantly brings back painful memories of Italia '90 - still to contend with. The level of commitment did not falter, but inevitably Burridge's collective twenty-two legs began to tire. Otterbourne's winning goal came during the first period of extra time, via a well executed chip. However, Burridge can only draw positives from this game, can they sustain such workmanlike performances?

4-4-2: Dave Hopkins, Jay Schwodler, Ben Wilson, Paul Dyke, Luke Sanderson, Steve Froud (Dean Wall), Rich Allan, Mark Sanderson, Ross Bryant, Kristian Hewitt (Paul Andrews), Lee Wood

Monday, 31 October 2005

Burridge's New Signing

Here he is; Burridge's new signing Bryn Schwodler, looking suitably gormless. Actually it looks as though he's followed Jack Nicholson - aka McMurphy - in the queue for a lobotomy with Nurse Ratched. Cuckoo, cuckoo!

Sunday, 30 October 2005

Burridge AFC 1-2 Spinnaker

Sunday 30th October

Venue: Burridge Rec.

Burridge surrendered to their first league defeat of the season, in a fixture that often threatens to become heated. This one decided to emigrate to the Costa Brava; Scott Burnet was involved in an incident which saw his opposite number sent off. Anglo Saxon wording was exchanged, along with plenty of vigorous finger pointing, as the majority of the 22 players gravitated to the scene of the crime, like Mexico '86 magnetic marbles to a fridge door. By this time Burridge were losing, but it started out so differently. Rich Allan, finished a glorious passing move by turning an unleashing a perfect half volley into the top corner from the edge of the penalty area.

Spinnaker drew level directly from a corner, whipped in with pace and assistance from the elements. Their winning goal again came from a cross from Spinnaker's right flank, Hopkins' - who may well of been planning to launch the ball upfield - slipped, allowing the ball to leave his grasp giving Spinnaker an opportunity that was impossible to miss.

3-5-3: Dave Hopkins, Mark Sanderson, Ross Bryant, Kev Willsher, Paul Dyke, Scott Burnet, Jay Schwodler, Rich Allan, Bryn Schwodler, Paul Andrews, Kristian Hewitt (Lee Fielder)

Other results:

Afc Spotted Cow 3-1 Waterlooville Social
Gems 0-4 Wickham Dynamos

Visit for details, or
it's been redesigned a little.
6/11/ away to Gems FC
13/11/home to Waterlooville Social Clb
20/11/ away to Wickham Dynamos
27/11/ home to Spotted Cow

Burridge AFC 2 - 1 Capital

Saturday 29th October

Venue: Burridge Sports Ground

Burridge, who now seem well aware of the uncomfortable furnishings of the last chance saloon, recorded a victory in a game that ended with a bang. Although this was their second win of the season, it was in fact a game of firsts. Kristian Hewitt remained composed in the claustrophobic surroundings of the penalty area by side footing Burridge into the lead. He was involved in the second goal, when his teasing cross from right to left was met by Lee Wood, who gleefully side footed home for his first goal of the season.

The second half saw the obligatory introduction of nerves, as Burridge began to reacquaint themselves with the novelty of a winning position. This came to the fore when Capital scored, leading to a rather frantic finish. Which saw Hopkins' make a number of vital saves in the Burridge goal, whilst Wood was unluckly not to score again after heading goalwards after an encouraging passing move.

As the last few minutes ticked away stubbornly, Capital began to take chances - throwing men forward. One move ended at the feet of a midfielder who seemed to have the goal at his mercy, but his delay allowed Luke Sanderson to cover the goal line, stopping the ball crossing the line - apparently, (well it wasn't so much a case of a Russian linesman, but I can confirm that the linesman has indeed visited Russia.) unfortunately, it was with his hand. His first red card was almost immediately followed by Dave Hopkins' first penalty save for Burridge; by which time, Burridge had lost themselves in celebration, unaware that the game was not yet over. They needn't have worried, as shortly after the whistle was blown, allowing Burridge to climb off the bottom spot, into the luxurious realm of tenth place.

4-4-2; Dave Hopkins, Luke Sanderson, Ben Wilson (Dean Wall), Paul Dyke, Jay Schwodler, Ross Bryant, Mark Sanderson (Mark Reeves), Rich Allan, Steve Froud, Kristian Hewitt, Lee Wood (Paul Andrews)

Visit link below for the latest tables

Other scores:
Cadnam 6-1 Burridge Sports
Comrades 1-3 Spartans
Malvern 5-1 Priory
Solent 5-0 Survey

Tuesday, 25 October 2005

Burridge's Nigerian Link

I'm still not sure if indeed this was a wind up, but even so, it's still rather funny. Here's the email I received on 26th August in response to our player search......

Greetings to you. I am also commending you for a job well done . My name is TAIWO-OGUNLEYE , I am a young healthy young man of 16yrs old who hails from Nigeria. My purpose of sending this mail is to inform you that I have viewed your profile via the internet and I am interested in joining your youth team .I played for a local but unregistered club here in Nigeria. However the unavailability of my club to registered has really dash my chances of proven myself as a good player. SIR, my family are aware of this proposal and they have given me a go-ahead, and infact they are ready to bear all the responsibility toward my progress in the football industries since thay have known me to have an ambition to be a good footballer. I will be very greatful if my proposal to help me join your youth team is favourable considered.
I await a favourable reply from you sooner.

Thank you
yours faithfully

This was quickly followed by this......

I went through the website and i am impress at what i saw which i see as a great and a feature club, so i will like to send three of my player to your club for a trial and after them if satisfy we can then settle other terms. And their age categorically 16/17 year old male from Nigeria, in which they have play in several amateur league competition. So therefore i will be extremely greatful if my offer is being granted favourable consideration.

your faithful
club secretary

I felt it was only right to reply......

Hello Bolaji,

Thank you for replying.
I think there has been some confusion.
My team Burridge is only a local amateur team in Southampton, we are not professional, we are not even semi professional. We play in an organised league but just for fun.

Are you actually emailing me from Nigeria? If so, I'm astonished that my boring little advert has reached you. By the sounds of it, your players would be far to good for us! Sorry to disappoint you.

However, if your players are based in Southampton, then you're more than welcome to train with us. If not, then perhaps you could liase with Easyjet and propose regular flights between Lagos and Southampton.

All the very best,

From Mark E Sanderson.

Sunday, 23 October 2005

Aquaseal 2 - 4 Burridge AFC

Sunday 24th October
Venue: Wicor Rec
Competition: Dave Blunt Cup

Burridge, whom on Sundays, are nothing if not difficult to beat actually won rather than drew when it looked as if they were to lose. Although they had chances to score, most of the first half was spent defending; as Kev Wilsher was left to combat an opponent of equal aerial ability, whilst Mark Sanderson was left a little exposed to his opposite's pace. It was this speed that saw Burridge a goal down, but a rare attack saw the ball fall to Scott Burnet, who volleyed firmly into the roof of the net from seven yards.

In the second period, craft was not so much abandoned but not allowed to develop due to an increasing frequency of pedantic referring decisions. Even so, Aquaseal again took the lead; the ball threaded to their centre forward, who ran free of the defence before striking high past Hopkins. Their joy however, was shortlived, because within the next few moments Burridge would have scored twice. The comeback began when Rich Allan darted down the left flank and sent a driven cross that was nothing less than a written invitation to score - Bryn Schwodler duly obliged via his head to make it two each. Before Aquaseal had time to become used to the score, the ball had been sent from right to left, and Greg Baker arriving at the back post smashed home a half volley - his first goal on Sundays. Burridge then managed to find every clumsy Aquaseal leg on which necessary to fall over. One such awarded free kick, saw Bryant - who'd been moved to the flank - roll inside from the right to Rich Allan who took the ball into his stride before sending his shot high into the goalkeeper's right hand corner, sealing victory.

3-5-2: Dave Hopkins, Ross Bryant, Kev Willsher, Mark Sanderson, Paul Dyke, Jay Schwodler (Paul Andrews), Greg Baker, Scott Burnet, Rich Allan, Kristian Hewitt, Bryn Schwodler

Other Cup scores

AFC Spotted Cow 1-1 Meonstoke
Aquaseal Res 1-0 Burridge AFC Res
East Meon 3-2 Shelford Rovers
Froxfield 1-4 Lynx Sports
Gems FC 2-3 Miller
Lotus XI 2-5 Titchfield FC
Masters 4-10 Spinnaker
Priory Inn 0-2 Clanfield FC
Ranvilles Rangers 2-1 Southwick Lions
Soberton Utd 2-4 Titchfield Res
West Meon and Warnford Res 1-3 Asda Athletic
West System Utd 0-1 AFC Paxton
Wickham Dynamos 3-1 Tempest Utd
Wickham Utd 4-2 North Boarhunt

PS Next Sunday (30/10/05) Burridge have a home league fixture against Spinnaker.

Academicals 4 - 0 Burridge AFC

Saturday 22nd October

Venue: Wide lane

Despite a full strength squad, Burridge succombed to another defeat which leaves staring down the barel of a gun in last position. Unable to deal with Academicals and their raw pace they found themselves two goals down at half time without offering any genuine threat to their opponents.

The second half saw Ben Wilson having to leave the field with a dead leg, and although Burridge didn't allow themselves to wallow in self pity - 2 more goals were conceded. Survey reserves 5-1 disposal of Comrades only added salt to Burridge's wound.

4-4-2: Dave Hopkins, Luke Sanderson, Paul Dyke, Ben Wilson (Kristian Hewitt), Paul Dyke, Jay Scwhodler, Greg Baker (Rich Allan), Steve Froud, Mark Sanderson, Ross Bryant, Paul Andrews (Mark Reeves), Lee Wood

Visit for full league

Burridge Sports 1 - 2 Malvern
Survey Res 5 - 1 Classic Comrades Res
Priory Rovers 1 -1 Solent WTL
Spartans 2 - 2 Capital

Sunday, 16 October 2005

AFC Paxton 1 - 1 Burridge Afc

Sunday 15th October

Allotment Road, Warsash

Amongst the cloud and drizzle, another draw merged into the echoes of previously tied games; as Burridge remained unbeaten. The game was a succession of unfilled movement and imagination that neither side seemed prepared to leave behind - until Paxton's opener - a thirty yard free kick that was bent over the defending wall into Hopkin's top corner.

Burridge stood firm and allowed little opportunity for Paxton to increase their lead, whilst not threatening to equalize themselves. Ross Bryant was moved from sweeper to the right flank, and it was his driven cross that was nurtured by the returning Kristian Hewitt, and delicately passed beyond the keeper's reach for the equalizer, and a point each was assured.

3-5-2 Dave Hopkins, Kev Willsher, Ross Bryant, Mark Sanderson, Greg Baker, Paul Dyke, Rich Allan, Jay Schwodler, Paul Andrews, Kristian Hewitt.

Other scores:
Aquaseal 2-3 AFC Spotted Cow
Gems FC 3-15 Spinnaker
Waterlooville Social Clb 3-0 Wickham Dynamos
West Meon and Warnford 3-0 Spotted Cow

Priory Rovers 1 -2 Burridge AFC 2

Saturday 15th October

Netley Country Park

Burridge were in desperate need of a good performance - and they got it. Lee Wood returned, and Steve Froud made his debut. What resulted was a resolute display characterized by Burridge's hunger for the ball, either through hurrying the opposition or in pursuit of a pass. However Burridge were unable to actually ask any questions of the opposing keeper, despite Ross Bryant's seemingly obvious penalty appeal, that was waved away by the referee. They did take the lead just before half time, as Mark Sanderson's throw in was held and laid off back to him by Lee Wood before being struck home.

Still dazed by the dizzy heights of a lead, Burridge began in the second half weakly, but it appeared their need was greater than Priory's, as they mounted wave upon wave of attack. The all important second arrived after Jay Schwodler's driven cross was thumped into the roof of the net by a jubilant Paul Andrews. And although Priory did score themselves via a headed corner kick, Burridge deserved their victory and could have had further goals had Ben Wilson not been penalized on a corner for impeding the goalkeeper. Next week Burridge go to Wellington Park to face Accademicals brimming with confidence and with a full squad hungry for a starting place; surely this is the turning point in their season.

4-4-2: Dave Hopkins, Jay Schwodler, Paul Dyke, Ben Wilson, Luke Sanderson, Ross Bryant, Steve Froud, Mark Sanderson, Greg Baker, Paul Andrews (Kristian Hewitt), Lee Wood (Chris Hogg)

Thursday, 13 October 2005


I'm sure all readers of 90 Minutes of Sheer Burridge will welcome new Saturday signing;
Steve Froud
Age: 29
Position: Midfield
Profession: P.E. Teacher

Wednesday, 12 October 2005

Do You remember.....

The Strange Case of the Full Members (aka Simod, Zenith Data Systems) Cup

It’s unlikely that many would be able to name or even recall Alan Shearer’s first senior cup final appearance. Not only was it fourteen years ago, but also in a competition that was largely ignored and now defunct. Shearer was with Southampton at the time, who faced Nottingham Forest in their first Wembley final since 1979; where again they’d faced Clough’s men in a 3-2 defeat in the then sponsor free League Cup. Of course the original event described – if there is any doubt – is the 1992 Zenith Data Systems Cup Final.

The tournament’s inception followed the European competition ban imposed on English clubs after the 1985 Heysal disaster. Beginning life as the Full Member’s Cup it was open to all first and second division clubs; although rather tellingly, sides such as Liverpool – who would have noticed more than most the absence of fixtures – chose not to enter, dooming the competition’s credibility. Despite this, it still ran for seven years before eventually being engulfed by the outset of the Premier League. By this time football fans were busy vandalising their homes with the addition of satellite dishes in order to watch Sky’s coverage. It was hosted by former TV-AM presenter Richard Keys, whose collection of luridly bright jackets provided viewers with more than ample distraction from the Full Member’s Cup, condemning it forever to the back seat of the memory.

Gordon McKeag – the then president of the Football League – described the event as; ‘helping to create greater incentive within the game, providing clubs with an extra domestic challenge.’ One perhaps that Arsene Wenger would rather do without irrespective of European qualification, and what of Bolton and Middlesbrough? They’d scarcely cope if their bold upper table meanderings weren’t rewarded with an away tie in Bulgaria. Goodness knows the stunned reaction if faced with the idea that the prize for the tournament was simply the satisfaction of lifting the trophy itself. That and one hundred thousand pounds, no longer enough to buy a temperamental South American journeyman.

Southampton had beaten Chelsea – who were a few years shy of their mid nineties renaissance – in the rather unnecessary two legged southern area final to reach Wembley. They too were victorious in both the inaugural final in 1986, where a David Speedie hat trick helped them to a 5-4 win against Manchester City, and in 1990 when a Tony Dorigo strike condemned Middlesbrough. However, when looking at attendances it’s noticeable that not even the carrot of an excursion to the home of football could coerce more than twenty thousand fans over two games at the Dell and Stamford Bridge. Which, perhaps illustrates why the draw was split between north and south.

Although at times unpopular during his tenure at the Saints, the Cup Final gave Ian Branfoot valuable breathing space. He had once before reached the final during its Simod Cup days; when in charge of second division Reading in 1988 as they had a day out they wouldn’t forget by thumping Luton Town 4-1. It also provided Crystal Palace with an opportunity to vanquish their previous season’s F.A. Cup heartache when they overcame Everton after extra time by the same score. There they were; Reading, Crystal Palace & Southampton, all enjoying a day out. If this was the extent of the Full Member’s Cup then perhaps Red Letter Days should have resurrected it as the ideal birthday or Christmas gift – had they not met their own demise.

Even the day out could be a confusing almost hollow experience. Reaching a final without even the possibility of being drawn against the big boys amongst dwindling crowds was the road to Wembley. Which, in 1992 was watched by a crowd sat on cheap plastic seats that had been shoehorned into an outdated stadium. So why do I still remember it? Perhaps the first visit to Wembley left an impression that made me look at my surroundings and realise that I expected it to be bigger – like meeting someone famous.

Domestically we still had the trusty old F.A. Cup, as well as the League Cup, so it’s doubtful we needed further domestic activity, but the memory lingers on. Maybe it was the sight of my friend Greg Baker – Saints mascot for the day – who continued to deprive goalkeeper Tim Flowers of a decent warm up by sending the ball sailing over the crossbar with Wilkinsonesque consistency. Or, perhaps it was simply that the game had goals, as did most of the Full Member’s Cup Finals - averaging almost five goals a final. Headers from Matt Le Tissier (pictured above) and Kevin Moore levelled the game after Scott Gemmell and Kinglsey Black had appeared to have won it for Forest until Gemmell’s second clinched it. Either way it’s unclear, but when thumbing through the match day programme, one echoes the sponsors sentiments who ask supporters to, ‘Get behind your team and give the players real encouragement so that they can raise their game enough to make Graham Taylor’s European Championship Squad! Thank you.’ Yes, thank you Full Member’s Cup, it was after all a good day out.

By the way, does anybody remember Club Call?

Monday, 10 October 2005

Saturdays Needs You

I don't want to scaremonger, but at present we have 9 players available for this Saturday's fixture, as Dean & Rich are away.

7.Greg - but a 35 day ban is to start Monday 24th October to and including 27th November.

I had a brainwave last night, we have a decent Sunday 'reserve' side, maybe I could canvass some of them into playing? Colin, what do you think? Because at present it's feasible that Kristian won't have a team to come back to.

Sunday, 9 October 2005

Burridge 4 - 3 Gems

Sunday 9th October

Venue: Burridge

Burridge entertained newly promoted Gems who had suffered an 11 - 0 mauling at the hands of Lee on Solent in the Hampshire Cup last week. Whilst Burridge manager Maurice Hewlett - last seen in a pool of his own stale vomit - was conspicuous in his absence after taking a beating from a bottle of Southern Comfort the night previous. Although Burridge didn't reach double figures - they certainly could have. Rich Allan (who later made amends) managed to send the ball skywards from point blank range.

Scott Burnet was proving to be the ideal foil for his midfield partner Greg Baker; who in turn was having a strong influence on the game with his neat passing, that led to 3 of Burridge's goals. Rich Allan made it one nil -after another miss - when he had the freedom of the penalty area before drilling home.

In the second half, Lee Fielder comfortably rounded the keeper and made it two, before Paul Andrews ended a good passing move with a net bulging emphatic finish. This appeared to be good night, but this is Burridge afterall, who insisted of making a game of it, and within fifteen minutes Gems were level. The game refused to end quietly though and in the last minute Burridge were awarded a free kick on the edge of the penalty area. Rich Allan avoided the wall giving Burridge heart palpatations and victory.

3-5-2: Dave Hopkins, Paul Dyke, Ross Bryant, Mark Sanderson, Jay Schwodler, Greg Baker, Scott Burnet, Bryn Schwodler, Paul Andrews, Lee Fielder

AFC Spotted Cow 4-0AFC Paxton
Aquaseal 2-5 Waterlooville Social Clb
Spinnaker 1-2 West Meon and Warnford
Spotted Cow 1-2 Wickham Dynamos

Next week Burridge are away to Away to AFC Paxton
PS Rich Allan needs £39 on Wednesday from those who have yet to pay for training, he's good enough to arrange it for us, so try not to forget.

Saturday, 8 October 2005

Malvern 2 - 0 Burridge AFC

Saturday 8th October

Venue: Green Park

Two second half goals condemned Burridge to defeat in Millbrook. Crippled by an absence of belief, their play lacked any real conviction - hence their inability to hit the opposition target during the entirety of the contest. If a muscle is bruised, rest will restore it, but when a team is stuck in the quagmire of poor form the damage is so much more difficult to remedy.

Now in this hole, despondency is a useless tool, but so stricken by it are Burridge that it continues to rear its ugly head, creating doubt, which in turn leads to indecision - the quick sand of the brain. The game itself was of little note, filled with throw ins, that lead to more throw ins, which made the ball feel like an unwelcome guest as it happily rolled out of play, across chained off cricket squares.

This lead to continual breaks in play, splintering Burridge's already brittle concentration. Perhaps minds were: led astray by goings on at adjacent pitches, or empathising with the lonely journey of wind assisted Quaver packets. Oh Quaver sachet on the breeze, now redundant of your cargo, you're ignored by all but the invisible mystery of the wind; who you are at the mercy of because of your unbiodegradable immortality.

Next week, Burridge are away to Priory Rovers. Who play next to the sea at Netley Country Park, everyone's favourite frisbee throwing haunt cicra 1985.

4-4-2: Dave Hopkins, Paul Andrews, Ben Wilson, Paul Dyke, Luke Sanderson, Ross Bryant, Mark Sanderson, Rich Allan (Craig Bryant), Greg Baker, Dean Wall, Jay Schwodler

Wednesday, 5 October 2005

Catchphrase: Say what you see

Park football whether it be on Saturday or Sunday, is set solidly in thorough routine. Days are taken up solely for the pursuit of running (moving) around a grass (August to November only) field. In the absence of spectators, players feel the need to fill the silence with noises of their own - it's almost as if shouting is directly correlated to effort. Sticking with the theme of routine, one can't help but notice that players have their own footballing cathphrases. Burridge is no exception, here's what you can hear if you visit.

Ross Bryant: "Who's picking?" This is a particular favourite, it translates as 'who's marking,' which to the layman, means: 'why am I marking I don't like running to my own goal?' Also rather fond of releasing a primal scream every time he's unhappy with his sliced finishes or overhit free kicks. It is heard often.

Dykey: Not best known for his words but more his familiar grunt, which is one of disapproval when he's not given the ball to his minds exact designated destination. It's usually followed by 'that's awful' as he gives chase to his favourite situation - the second touch which is often known as the tackle.

Andrews: In his full-back hey day was famously remembered for his high pitched, 'I've got two' like an extra out of Zulu who's out of ammo.

Kev Willsher: Seemingly silent, but if in close proximity can be heard to sigh impatiently - as a father does when his Sunday lie in is interrupted by the kids jumping on him - as our forwards let another chance go begging.

Scott Burnet: 'On his touch' is often bellowed in parrot fashion, it's quite obvious that the mind numbing experience of playing for Survey, a side who seemed to neither concede or score, has brain washed him to adopt this phrase. Perhaps he should repeat the mantra to himself the next time balsa wood sculptured Dave Hopkins turns him inside out in training.

Lee Fielder: Not so vocal, but it's almost impossible to ignore his continual furrowed brow, which irrespective of mood, looks as if he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Although as he often does this when listening, it's fair to assume it's a sign of concentration.

Rich Allan: 'Let the ball do the work' has been uttered without fail at every half time inquest since at least 2001. It's one of the biggest lies in football, as to do so players have to be constantly on the move to collect the ball and avoid the opposition clutches.

Kristian Hewitt: Before and after game this individual can be perfectly affable, but during the game loves a good moan. One to avoid eye contact with if you decide to leave the opposition a free run on goal. Along with Dykey, guaranteed to have a heated discussion with Ross.

Jay Schwodler: 'For F*ck's sake' is the uttered platitude. It has lost alls meaning due to violent over usage; maintained in all situations, eg. when greeted with any pass towards him you're likely to hear 'For F*ck's sake.'

Bryn Schwodler: Very good at motivating, although usually the opposition. Has often been heard to state during the game that 'we should be putting ten past sides like these,' which wildly breaks the social rules of constraint which clearly state that one shouldn't talk about somebody in the third person when they're present, let alone in a indignant tone. Also, when Burridge are loosing loves to toss away all responsibility, with comments that suggest that the level of football he's being subjected to is quite below his efforts.

Colin Barfoot: Again another who's actions are more familiar than his words. Over the years I've noted his vacant stare; it was seen when on arrival to Allotment Road, when realizing he'd forgotten to bring the kit. The possibility of honouring a fixture in our pants and vest became distinctly possible before his high speed chase home to retrieve it. Also seen when loosing daughter or being asked pertinent questions as he struggles to think through a situation and maintain eye contact simultaneously

Monday, 3 October 2005

GTI 5 - 3 Burridge AFC


Sunday 3rd October

Venue: Plessey Sports Ground, West Cowes

Burridge were condemned to defeat as they shipped five goals in a game for the first time since March 2004's 5-2 away defeat to Bobs XI. The game, during its infancy, saw Bryn Schwodler knock in for the lead; and it appeared Burridge were about to embark on a straight forward victory. They were not. Possession is afterall, only nine tenths of the law, an attacking wave would too often loose momentum at the shore of GTI's defence.

Perhaps they could sense this, their more direct approach was paying dividends, and although defending was questionable on their equalizer, Burridge were aghast when the referee pointed to the spot after Kev Willsher had appeared to head away fairly. Nobody on the field had made the slightest appeal, and Burridge's initial reaction to the referee's outstretched finger was of utter astonishment. The penalty was scored, and it was a mental blow that Burridge never recovered from, despite Bryn Schwodler equalizing from his brother's (Jay) pass.

Within the space of ten minutes, the game was put beyond Burridge's reach, as all round sloppy play provided GTI to add 3 more goals. Rich Allan did reduce the lead, but it was all too late. Burridge will have to apply themselves more diligently if they expect to get anything against Gems next Sunday.

3-5-2 Dave Hopkins, Kev Willsher, Mark Sanderson, Ross Bryant, Paul Dyke, Scott Burnet, Jay Schwodler (Lee Fielder), Rich Allan, Greg Baker, Bryn Schwodler, Paul Andrews

Burridge AFC 2 - 2 Classic Comrades


Saturday 1st October

Venue: Burridge Shed

Relief was tangible the moment Greg Baker opening the scoring. After cushioning the ball he drilled a low shot in off a post from the edge of the box, and was then covered in a mass of blue and black, as Burridge shared the simple thrill of a goal. The lead had been deserved, and it doubled when Rich Allan headed home Jay Schwodler's cross, now it seemed as though they were finally free of the baggage of previous poor form that had begun to weigh them down.

One has to be reminded that winning is a habit exclusive in its nature, as you don't want to break it. Once in its midst, teams feel they cannot loose; alas, without warning it can disappear, the only known cure is hard work and belief. But, this itself is difficult to maintain when in doubt of oneself. When Greg Baker turned past Hopkins into his own net, Burridge's demons returned. Despite Luke Sanderson clearing off the line, the equalizer still came; Ross Bryant sliced off his own post, and with the ball rolling tantalizingly across the line, a Comrades forward made the inevitable contact to break Burridge's hearts, but not their resolve, as they took their first point of the season.

3-5-2: Dave Hopkins, Ben Wilson (Paul Andrews), Ross Bryant, Paul Dyke, Jay Schwodler, Luke Sanderson, Greg Baker, Rich Allan, Mark Sanderson, Dean Wall, Lee Wood.

Scorers: Greg Baker, Rich Allan

On this day, 1928, George Peppard (better known as Hanibal in the A-Team) was born, in Detroit.


08/10 away v Malvern at Green Park
15/10 away v Priory Rovers at Royal Victoria Country Park
22/10 away v Academicals at Wellington Sports Ground

Thursday, 29 September 2005

Mark's quiet Lament.......

This morning is Thursday. Thursday is usually heavily laced with optimism, almost better than Friday which has been tainted slightly by the 'dress down' concept; wearing jeans to the office
gets many people too excited, for reasons unknown that makes the whole thing nothing more than a false promise that manifests itself through the realization that the weekend only really lasts until Sunday morning. When thoughts of free time are taken hostage by Monday's heavy gravitational pull. You know you should be making the most of the day, but you're overcome by what is about to follow, of course you needn't worry because more than likely it'll be a fairly accurate reconstruction of what happened the previous week, which begs the question why so many people aren't in fact quite brilliant at their jobs. Goodness, if any day is need of marketing make over it's Sunday, because at present it should really be called Work Week Eve.

Whatever way we look at it, The summit of mount Thursday provides us with a moral boosting
view of Saturday. So much so that you want to savour it, Thursday's vision of Saturday could supersede it if it weren't for football. Saturday is afterall; football day. At Burridge much time is spent droning on at great length about team formations, the merits of moulded studs as opposed to screw in studs, often thorough autopsy reveals conclusively that the opposition who'd beaten us comprehensively were in fact utterly inferior to us, on the grounds that their meagre status didn't provide us with the motivation necessary to cut them to pieces with our play.

Recent times have seen new words and phrases enter our post match pub discussion without invite or notice, words such as mortgage & decorating. So often in the past my clumsy challenges have been met with protest; 'I've got to go to work on Monday' would be the dullards plea, so often I'd wanted to say that Giros can be delivered but resisted. But now at 27 I sit on Thursday's mount and I can see Saturday and it is not football day any longer, it is becoming thirty years old but still going to nightclubs with Bryn, will it ever end? Burridge's Saturday house is crumbling, internally disembowelled by our stale ranting. Three straight defeats are slowly destroying the fragile illusion that we've cherished - like David Bowie's netherworld in labyrinth - as we treat the ball like a Jehovah's witness at the doorstep, with contempt, we send it on its way to the neighbour we don't know, namely the opposition. So here's to garden centres, wall papering the spare bedroom and growing up. Will there be a place for me there? I don't know, but at least I've football to fall back on.

Tuesday, 27 September 2005


For those of you on holidays during our presentation in June, here's me slicing some tender cuts. Photographed by Dykey.

Sunday, 25 September 2005

Burridge AFC 2 - 2 Wickham Dynamos

Sunday 25th September

Although Burridge maintained their unbeaten record, they had to endure an afternoon filled with frustration which eventually became relief. The opening fifteen minutes illustrated Burridge's dominance, almost everyone enjoying the company of the ball. But when possession was lost the ball was flung in by Wickham from the right, Mark Sanderson wasn't goal side, and his last ditch challenge saw the ball slide into the net off the grateful Dynamo forward. Two minutes later history repeated itself as Sanderson dragged his opposing number down in the penalty area, he escaped punishment, but the penalty was successful and Burridge were two goals down in a game they had controlled.

The second half began perfectly for Burridge. Greg Baker's Right wing cross was dispatched via a Bryn Schwodler diving header. The comeback had begun, but not without drama, as Baker received his marching orders after a sharp disagreement involving choice language with the linesman. The setback spurred Burridge on, and they made it two each when Paul Andrews followed in to smash home from close range to save a point for Burridge.

3-5-2 Dave Hopkins, Ross Bryant, Kev Willsher, Mark Sanderson, Paul Dyke, Scott Burnet, Rich Allan, Jay Schwodler, Greg Baker, Paul Andrews, Bryn Schwodler

Scorers: Bryn Schwodler, Paul Andrews

Other scores:
Paxton 2 - 4 Waterlooville social
AFC Spotted Cow 5 - 3 West Meon
Aquaseal 5 - 0 Gems
Spinnaker 4 - 2 Spotted Cow

PS Next week's Hant's Cup game in Cowes is 2pm kick off and they wear blue, so bring your red kit.

Burridge Afc 0 - 2 Cadnam

Success; is it the ability to move from one failure to another without a loss of enthusiasm? For Burridge's sake, one hopes this to be true, because in sport one has to maintain not only optimism, but a firm belief of ability. As Chekhov said, "Man is what he believes," but when defeat becomes a regular bedfellow, one has to be strong if they're to avoid self pity. Indeed Burridge had to hold firm to such maxims, as Dave Hopkins was called open to steer wide of his goal at point blank range. Their undoing came from Cadnam's number ten - I don't recall if he was wearing that jersey, but his performance was that of the traditional player who would have. His assurance and strength on the ball were self evident; and when Paul Andrews jockeyed him across the eighteen yard line, many would have thought that an attacking opportunity had vanished. But instead, the ball was shifted an extra yard right and sent high past Hopkins' right glove. Burridge arose to the challenge an arguably enjoyed their best spell of the game during the last fifteen minutes of the first half. As in wild frustration they looked to exasperate a season's frustration on their opponents; but their efforts were unable to produce any meaningful chances. Burridge's morale took a severe dent when Cadnam - and their number ten - increased the lead; it appeared that the back line had thwarted an attack, but from almost the by-line, the ball was wellied into across Hopkins into the top corner. Burridge had no answer and were condemned to their third straight defeat. (4-4-2) Dave Hopkins, Luke Sanderson, Jay Schwodler, Paul Dyke, Paul Andrews, Ross Bryant, Rich Allan, Mark Sanderson, Mike Hogg (Kristian Hewitt) Carl Godwin, Dean Wall Other Results: Capital 1 - 1 Academicals, Comrades 1 - 1 Priory, Survey 0 - 2 Burridge Sports, Spartans 0 - 2 Solent.

Tuesday, 20 September 2005


Saturday 24th September, home to Cadnam.


I had a terrible night sleep last night; I was dreaming about Burridge, Burridge, Burridge and our player shortage nightmare, and it got mixed up with the New Orleans flooding and the American television show: Lost. Burridge are lost at sea, and if I may quote from that show, a line that is apt to our plight, 'the moth struggles to free himself from the cocoon, we could cut him loose now but he would perish, his struggle is nature's necessary way of making him stronger.'

Sunday, 18 September 2005

Spotted Cow 0 - 3 Burridge AFC

Sunday 18th September

Venue: Alexander Sports Ground

If you'd read up on previous reports, it would have been difficult to ignore the emphasis on Burridge's consistently sluggish starts to games. This encounter, bucked that trend somewhat dramatically; from the kick off something in the region of seven passes were purposefully exchanged, culminated by Jay Schwodler side footing a Paul Andrews cross into Spotted Cow's bottom corner. One - nil up in under ten seconds, illustrating some delicate passing and moving that was so elusive in the majority of the previous game.

Cow did begin begin to dictate the tempo of the game, Greg Baker had to remain diligent on the right flank as the opposition looked to feed their left winger, and it was clear to see that their midfield were confident in possession. Again Burridge remained resilient, Kevin Willsher and Paul Dyke winning more than their share of aerial challenges; and with Bryn Schwodler up front Burridge had a dangerous outlet to counter attack.

This was illustrated plainly when Schwodler ran at the Cow defence, from right to left past two defenders before drilling back across the goalkeeper with his left boot (his new boots, I might add) to give Burridge breathing space. A third came soon after as Jay Schwodler maintained the family theme, by neatly redirecting Rich Allan's cross via his head for his second of the afternoon.

The second half saw further chances for Burridge, as more space appeared; Paul Andrews hit wide when clean through, who despite willing running and an assist, he remains without the first goal he so desires. Scott Burnet - who delivered his best performance so far this season - bustled his way through on goal, but was denied on the line by last ditch goalkeeping. Time was running out for Cow, who needed a quick score to get the momentum necessary to draw level, it never came and Burridge were always in relative control.

3-5-2 (3-2-3-2 depending on your point of view)

Dave Hopkins, Ross Bryant, Kev Willsher, Mark Sanderson, Scott Burnet, Paul Dyke, Rich Allan, Jay Schwodler, Greg Baker, Paul Andrews, Bryn Schwodler

Scorers: Jay Schwodler 2 , Bryn Schwodler

Aquaseal 6 -1 West Meon and Warnford
Gems FC 4 -1AFC Paxton
Waterlooville Social Clb 2 -2 Spinnaker
Wickham Dynamos 2 -7 AFC Spotted Cow

PS Regretfully many of us are still to pay outstanding booking fines. I know it's irritating when you're told you've been booked 4 times and you owe dough, BUT it's just the way it is I'm afraid. From here on in I'll keep record of it. Greg, Rich and Ross, remember you've been cautioned this season, and that means £8.

Tuesday, 13 September 2005


On the left is a picture of England the last time they won the Ashes in 1986. Here we are in 2005, finally winning them back after a 2-1 series win.

Monday, 12 September 2005


The Men's U.S. Open Final certainly lived up its star billing, as Andre Agassi (pictured in his big hair hey day) finally succumbed to Roger Federer in three sets; 3-6, 6-2, 6-7, 1-6. Agassi playing in his sixth U.S. final, and fifteenth Grand Slam final overall, took the game to Federer and the second set perfectly illustrated that Las Vegan born Agassi, aged 35, still has the armory to compete with the best. Sadly it wasn't enough, and this may be his last Grand Slam final, fifteen years after his first (a defeat to 19 year old Pete Sampras in the 1990 U.S. Final). When Agassi does retire he can be considered as one of the few players who's won each one of the four slams; Wimbledon in '92, the U.S. Open in '94 & '99, the French in '99 & Australian in '95, 00, 01 & 03. A feat not achieved by either McEnroe, Borg, or Sampras.

Agassi's Grand Slam Record:

U.S. Open:
Won: 94, 99
Runner Up: 90, 95, 02, 05

Australian Open:
Won: 95, 00, 01, 03

French Open:
Won: 99
Runner Up: 90, 91

Won: 92
Runner Up: 99

Sunday, 11 September 2005

Spinnaker 1-1 Burridge AFC

Sunday 11th September 2005
Venue: Osborne Road, Warsash

Once again Burridge started slowly. Despite the previous week's solid performance, they seemed unable to submit a genuine challenge to Spinnaker; who with superior control of the ball enjoyed suitable hospitality in the comfort of the Burridge half. But too frequently their end product was wayward; on several occasions the ball found itself unceremoniously whacked into gardens behind Dave Hopkins' goal. Such stoppages presented Burridge an opportunity to interrupt Spinnaker's momentum, and eventually they managed to break free into the unknown territories of the opposing area.

Picture above: Paul Andrews looks on, running the line may be crucial to grass roots football, but it's a job all despise for the flak you receive. Much of it from your own team!

The second half would have disappointed any casual passer-by who had hoped to see a bagful of goals. The frugal nature of the game saw each midfield stub out any possibility of domination, but it was a set piece that proved Burridge's undoing. A corner from their left was met from eight yards, and the header looped over Hopkins, to give Spinnaker the lead.

Pictures above: Burridge take stock at half-time; number 14 Jay Schwodler who had helped create a glorious opportunity for himself, tries to evade his marker.

Time was running out; and there had been little evidence to show that Burridge could offer a threat to Spinnaker's goal. But, in spite of their indifferent performance as an attacking force, Burridge had remained steadfast in commitment. Jay Schwodler passed meaningfully to Greg Baker on the right wing, who crossed to Schwodler who had continued his run - perfectly demonstrating the subtlety and effectiveness of the one-two - it appeared a finally crafted goal was at his mercy, but he misjudged the ball's flight, and sent it harmlessly wide via a shoulder.

Burridge did manage to revisit a similar position, and it presented them with an equalizing goal. Now inside the last ten minutes, Greg Baker again crossed from the right, this time deeper, to the back post finding Jay's younger brother Bryn. Who met the ball at an angle but guided a controlled header over the keeper's head in to the opposite top corner, a goal truly out of the coaching text book, heading the ball back into the direction it came! Still without a win, Burridge more importantly remain undefeated on Sundays.

3-5-2: Dave Hopkins, Kev Willsher, Mark Sanderson, Ross Bryant, Jay Schwodler, Paul Dyke, Scott Burnet, Rich Allan, Greg Baker, Lee Wood, (Paul Andrews), Bryn Schwodler.
H/T: 0-0
Scorer: Bryn Schwodler

Other scores:
AFC Paxton 2 - 5 West Meon & Warnford
AFC Spotted Cow 4 - 2 Spotted Cow
Gems 1 - 5 Waterlooville Social Club

Looking back (bringing back the blog)

I haven't posted here since 2012 – that’s five years of not blogging. The blog is/was about Burridge AFC, the football team I played f...