Wednesday, 27 July 2005

Who's who

Burridge are....

Rich Allan:
Content painter & decorator, living in sin with girlfriend and her old man (who happens to be Maurice).
Paul Andrews:
Tall plumber who remains faithful to a hairstyle as a swan does to its partner.
Greg Baker:
Continually trapped in a state of other worldliness, often oblivious to many a thing others already fully realize.
Colin Barfoot:
Snout puffing docker who holds reigns over the Saturday XI with a penchant for all things grilled.
Ross Bryant:
Contemporary twenty-something with a curious nature and love of all things new.
Scott Burnet:
Scientific, methodical thinker with a need for sensible clothing to avoid heavy perspiration.
Paul Dyke:
Lively accountant who dispels the myth of his chosen profession's supposed characteristics.
Lee Fielder:
Failry intense character who like a camel can go without water can withstand long periods of unemployment.
Kristian Hewitt:
This green keeper is unable to stomach tomato ketchup anymore than he can catching a glimpse of his parents enjoying private time.
Maurice Hewlett:
Deadpan manager of the Sunday XI with a fondness for the lesser seen 'simple' ball.
David Hopkins:
Goalkeeper who seems stuck with a reputation for questionable behaviour toward women.
Luke Sanderson:
Softly gregarious but anxious one finds comfort in music, film & word.
Bryn Schwodler:
A serial offender of fiscal negligence.
Jay Schwodler:
Stereotyped as one with a complaining disposition, but like a British seaside resort, one can be surpised if they're prepared to be patient.
Kevin Willsher:
Individual with a high pain threshold who's able to play through injuries, seldom discussing his discomfort.

Friday, 22 July 2005


Well, I've just got in, after setting out at 7pm, not after a night boozing I might add. No. A night running. I thought it would be a spiffing idea to go to Lyndhurst take it down to Beaulieu (where Status Quo were playing! Will Young tomorrow if you're interested Lee?) Lymington, Brockenhurst & back to Lyndhurst.

Of course I forgot that invariably it does get dark of an evening, and by ten I decided it was getting too dangerous to continue, so I'd walk the few centimeters indicated on the map. Alas those centimeters turned out to be 7 miles! 7 bloody miles! It took over an hour.

I may be 26, but as I live at home I still kopped it from my Mother who though I'd been gang-raped by a group of rowdy owls or more realistically hit by a car; my beautiful corpse left for the badgers.

It occurred to me that these things happen to me quite a lot, usually when I'm alone and when I'm in charge. So answer the following questions to find if you're Mark Sanderson....

(1) It's 1998, the streets are awash with men in black slip on shoes and Ralph Lauren button down shirts (still), the country is gripped by World Cup fever. You decide to pop into one of the cities most popular haunts; Schooners. You're served a pint that tastes like malt vinegar.
Do you....
(a) Inform the barman immediately that your drink needs replacing.
(b) Leave the drink, the bar's too busy at the moment.
(c) Drink it back and proceed to throw up all over the girl at the cloakroom, making sure you can never return.

(2) It's still 1998, you're traveling to the South of France to visit your Uncle via ferry and Train, do you...
(a) Establish clearly where he lives
(b) Don't worry, just make arrangements for him to meet you on your arrival.
(c) Do neither. After traveling for nearly 24 hours ask the law if they can point you in the right direction of 'Avenue De Fleur', they do but it's the wrong one, 7 miles away, resulting in you having too sleep on the beach like a sap.

(3) It's 2001, you're in Prague enjoying a boozy night with a Czech pal. He insists that you must directly approach the women in the clubs to guarantee bedroom action. Do you....
(a) Congratulate him on his mastering of the British windup.
(b) Suggest that he show how it's done.
(c) Approach every bit of skirt in town, despite many hundred rebuffs you continue, blissfully unaware that the whole thing's a ruse too make you look a tit.

(4) It's 2005, you've enjoyed your hols in Sweden & Latvia but realize you have an early flight home in the morning (9:30am).
Do you...
(a) Stay in & get an early night.
(b) Go out, but take it steady on good old lager tops.
(c) Go out drink & like a tramp, get in at 5am and seriously believe that staying up all night is a sensible idea, before falling asleep missing your flight, making all that hardwork of getting cheap flights mean diddly squat. Then having to fly to Manchester and get a train from there back home. Good job you're loaded, what's that? Oh you're not are you.

If you're answering mostly (c) then I'm afraid you are indeed Mark Sanderson.

Tuesday, 19 July 2005


Well after much speculation it seems that good old Crouchy is on his way to Liverpool for seven big ones. Here he is in happpier times scoring against his new employers.

Dexter Blackstock and super Marion Parhars will have to provide the goals now.

Monday, 18 July 2005


Hello and welcome: I'm just testing the water at present, but this will be the place to not only read about but also to air your feelings about Burridge.

Happy Birthday today to Nelson Mandela, who's 87 today, it's also the birthday of the late writer Hunter S Thompson (Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas).

Brazilian midfield maestro Dr Socrates, one of the many patrons of '90 minutes of sheer Burridge'

Looking back (bringing back the blog)

I haven't posted here since 2012 – that’s five years of not blogging. The blog is/was about Burridge AFC, the football team I played f...