Thursday, 17 September 2009


Jesus holds arms out in dismay after getting his marching orders from Darth Vader.

We'd been doing so well getting on with referees this season, but three games into a new season have resulted in three yellow cards. The referee has written the necessary report to the Hampshire football association, who forwarded the paperwork to the club. Up until a few years ago there was a tendency for referees to not bother sending in the paperwork that a yellow or red card warranted because it took up more of their time. By doing so the guilty player would have no fine to pay. These days referees are far more thorough. If you do get booked this season you can find out if you've been issued the standard £8 fine by clicking here.

Greg Baker's ability to consistently score penalties, (up 'til now he's scored 17 successive spot kicks), is almost matched by his knack of picking up bookings for dissent. He got another against Sway.

Bryn Schwodler had his name taken for some good old fashioned time wasting, kicking the ball away from the opposition to delay them taking a free kick.

Ben Rowe was the most unlucky of the three. His crime was coming onto the field as a substitute too quickly for the referee's liking. As a result, the club will pay his fine.

Under normal circumstances Sam Schwodler would be applauded for getting this far into the season without any referees asking for his name. This achievement has been undermined by the fact he's not yet featured for Burridge this season, having been suspended until 27th September.


Gorilla Bananas said...

How about saying "Can't pay, won't pay" to the fine? I'd like to see a sub brought on purely to kick the ref's arse.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Oh my. There have been many times when I should have issued yellow cards for players coming on too quickly.

Madame DeFarge said...

I adore authority figures, so this gets me all excited. It all sounds thrilling, if somewhat limiting for the team.

Eryl Shields said...

Dissent and time wasting, what kind of team are you?!

Donn w/2 Ns said...

Sorry old chap. I completely lost my train of thought after reading Scarls comment.

Oh yeah. Bear in mind that Refs are only Reffing because they can no longer "share" the ball with others.

They are power-mad, incurably self-loathing, and irascible bullies, who obviously signed up in order to force their will upon others.

Therefore being excruciatingly insecure, it stands to reason that once you have pissed off a Ref, or taken an Oscar-winning dive, you are branded for life as a menace and intolerable twat, and you will be carded until the end of days.

That being said, Refs should be considered to be an object of your pity and not your scorn.
Sadly, they Ref because they can no longer play themselves and their long-suffering wives and children want them out of the house as often as possible.

I hope this helps.

Emerson Marks said...

You're right, Don. Relativity and perspective go out the window when playing football.

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