No training and imaginary heaving bosoms
Above: Justin Newman comes to terms with Saturdays without football
Southampton had another finger of snow on Tuesday night so I called Wildern Leisure Centre to see if their outdoor football pitch was available for Burridge's Wednesday night training session. It wasn't. A girl's voice answered the telephone. It sounded like the ones I imagine you get on those premium rate numbers.
“I was just going to call you,” she said as I resisted any temptation to reach inside the zip of my fly. “We've not been able to clear the pitch. So it's not gonna be available tonight. Sorry.”
I broke the news to the players by text. Only Lee Fielder seemed pleased. He was probably glad of an extra week's grace for his newly pierced nipple to settle in. Self employed metal worker Mark Reeves, took the news somewhat less stoically. “Shocking,” he said. “I was really looking forward to training.” In a last futile gesture he crossed his fingers for the chance of a Burridge game going ahead this Saturday.
Not able to play football I was once again sat on the sofa watching it on television. Liverpool against Reading on ITV with a big drink in my hand to take the edge off Clive Tyldesley. “When he hits them,” he said from the gantry about Liverpool player Daniel Agger, “they stay hit.” Quite how Reading's kit manufacturers have managed to make such a mess out of blue and white hoops is beyond me. As far as I'm concerned no team has any business wearing that kit unless they're Queens Park Rangers.
Oh bum, has anyone seen the BBC's forecast for the remainder of week? Heavy rain is pencilled in. With heavy pencil.
Note to players: Are you planning on going to Milton Keynes to watch Saints next Wednesday? Let me know. That way I can give Pete an idea what we're like for numbers at training.