HEDGE END 0-1 BURRIDGE AFC

Wednesday 28th March
Norman Rodaway

Burridge entered this game struggling. Several players were held hostage by the M27 with kick off fast approaching, forcing 51 year old Burridge gaffer Pete Lyons to relive his 1980's Follands FC hey-day, without the benefit of shinguards in the centre of a five man midfield. While the sword of Damocles dangles precariously over the head of suspended top goalscorer. He'll have to answer an assault charge after launching a chewing gum missile into the goateed beard of referee Mr Graham, in reaction to being sent off on the 24th March at Stoneham Lane. Rumours of a publicised trim and shampoo of said referee's beard have yet to be substantiated.

Things seemed to be swinging Burridge's way just before half-time when Hedge-End were reduced to ten men when strawberry blond former Burridge centre-half Ben Wilson was unable to resist booting the exposed rear end of former defensive colleague Paul Dyke. Perhaps it was pay back from the six foot four postman for the infamous attention Paul Dyke bestrode upon red haired folk across the land on prime time BBC television earlier in the year.

The scene was now set for an unlikely smash and grab Burridge victory. 31 year old Jamie Hewitt cut inside from the left flank and from thirty yards unleashed a right footed thunderbolt that's trajectory was scarcely halted by threadbare goal netting. Hewitt howled into the evening sun, lost in giddy ecstasy, shimmying away from team-mates who were eager to engulf him in embrace for a spectacular goal that marked a famous win.

3-5-2: S.Schwodler, M.Sanderson, P.Dyke, J.Schwodler, P.Lyons (L.Sanderson), S.Froud, J.Newman, G.Baker, K.Hewitt (P.Andrews), S.Hewitt, J.Hewitt.

Unused (and crocked) sub: B.Rowe

Booked: M.Sanderson, G.Baker, J.Hewitt.

Goal of season: J.Hewitt