Saturday 26th January
Green Park, Millbrook
The pre-match warm up is a curious beast. Some players are quite content to stroll onto the field just a few minutes before kick-off with a woodbine on the go and get down to some light stretches.
This is perfectly acceptable.
As is discussing last night and what the lads may have got up to. Maybe waking up in bed alongside a woman who appears to be several stones heavier and a damn sight uglier in the cold light of the morning after, especially after a night spent drinking turbo shandies at the local disco.
What is not acceptable are lies. Like saying six foot three Greg Baker, (pictured left and not to be confused with 1990's Norwich City goalscoring sensation Robert Rosario), actually won any headers. Well, he did actually.
What's really not acceptable is an overly organised warm-up, managers with clip boards and players wearing bibs and performing all number of routines. This is what Inmar were doing directly before their home fixture with Burridge, suggesting to onlookers that they should perhaps be gracing more glamorous locations than Millbrook's Green Park.
But is that possible?
Yes it is possible.
I imagine you'd find better shower facilities at a Bangkok jail house.
Inmar's warm up continued. As time went on it became more elaborate and more players would join in. I was half expecting a clutch of androgynous men dressed in leotards to interpret the sliding tackle through the medium of dance. What I was really expecting was Inmar, after all that effort, to be half decent. Or at least to put their backs into it.
All they seemed to have was a goalkeeper with a terrible case of the shakes and had Kevin Keegan been present on the gantry to co-commentate, he would have no doubt mentioned that this goalkeeper did not have what is known in the trade as chocolate wrists. Ben Hutton marked a much more involved performance with a first half goal, shooting low away from the keeper, and Sam Schwodler made it two in the second half after tucking away Sam Hewitt's centre. Burridge had their first win in four games.
**NB A big thanks to Ben Rowe who donned the gloves for goalkeeping duties**
4-4-2: B.Rowe, L.Sanderson, M.Sanderson, K.Hewitt(c), R.Kelly (J.Schwodler), G.Baker, J.Newman (M.Reeves), J.Hewitt, S.Schwodler, B.Hutton, S.Hewitt (B.Schwodler)