If It's All The Same To You I'll Gloss Over The Second Half

Saturday 9th August at Burridge
Burridge AFC 2-7 VT FC Reserves

Now is not the time to try and work out how we conceded six second half goals against a team who’ve been training with the army since June 1st. I’ve been playing this great game of ours for quite a few years and during that time there've been some set backs, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s in life’s difficult moments that we discover who we really are. When faced with these sobering realities there’s only one thing to do, and that’s bottle it all up deep inside.

So what if Dawkins has vetoed your promotion to corporate strategy for the third consecutive quarter, we can’t have the new hottie from accounts see you like this - spending your lunch hour slouched over the steering wheel, sobbing into your crab paste sandwiches. It’s not the way men are supposed to behave. Not in public. We must bury our disappointments, until such time as we get onto the football field. Then and only then can we behave like the delicate flowers we really are.

Take for instance the time I finally plucked up the courage to reveal my true feelings to the barmaid at my local. Up until that moment I was just that guy she’d see from time to time pushing his trolley ten feet behind her at the supermarket. Or from the bedroom window of her third floor flat, up a ladder leant against a telegraph pole with a pair of binoculars around my neck. Once she had blew me out I did not for a moment feel it necessary to acknowledge the bitter sting of rejection that festered in my gut by rolling my socks down past my ankles and sinking to my knees where I stood, staring wistfully into the distance. Just so maybe one of her co-workers who had seen what had happened would playfully ruffle my hair as some way of consolation.

That’s pretty much how Burridge skipper Kristian Hewitt reacted when VT’s fifth goal hit the back of our net. I couldn’t blame him, we were taking a good licking and although this is probably not the way he chooses to behave when the electricity bill hits the doormat, such feelings have to seep out somewhere.

The reasons how we collapsed during the second half to a team who were playing in their seventh pre-season fixture remain elusive for now. Maybe we’ll never fully comprehend how a younger side who began training in a military stockade some seventy days previous to this game; fed only on a diet of raw meat, during which time they didn’t so much as set eyes on a single woman, came to rip us apart so emphatically. Oh well, It doesn’t really matter how. If we do come up against such opposition again we’ll be ready. With our hands on heads, looking up to the heavens and screaming, "Dear God, no."

4-4-2: Rookie, L.Sanderson, K.Hewitt (c), M.Sanderson, J.Schwodler (Jones), Baker (S.Schwodler), Newman, Allan, Judd (S.Hewitt), Andrews (Fielder), B.Schwodler

H/T: 1-1

Scorers: 1-1 B.Schwodler - on my head son.
2-7 S.Hewitt - pick that out!