Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Introducing....

Burridge's number one

Pictured above: Ryan Jones: click picture to enlarge.

At last. Here it is.

The photograph we've been waiting for.

Behold, Burridge's new goalkeeper, Ryan Jones.

Just look at him stood there.

Are we really supposed to believe that his stance reflects the oncoming right winger, who by the look of Jones' position, has breached Burridge's defence? This must be why Jones is stood to his left - to narrow the angle of the oh so imminent strike at goal?

Not by the look on his face. Have you ever seen a young man so happy? That grin is seconds away from breaking out across his whole face, and no wonder really, once you realise why.

The simple truth is that his arms are held out to welcome whoever it is, who's just out of shot, in a warm embrace, to celebrate their arrival back from Wickes with that tin of white emulsion, and 3 paint brush pack, a snip at £7.49, thats synethic bristles guarantees the kind of great paint holding coverage one can only fantasise about.

But enough with the horseplay. It's time to get to work. If they get cracking, those rusty old goal posts will be spick and span in no time at all.

Clearly overcome by the arrival of paint, one wonders just how animated Jones would become if somebody were to offer him a hand full of grass seed to scatter over that unsightly barren patch behind him. Or better still, a roll or two of fresh turf. Much like goalkeeping, with grass, there's more than one way to skin a cat.

21 comments:

Scarlet-Blue said...

I was going to say: does he want a hug...? But then you explained.
Sx

savannah said...

he looks so young, sugar! xoxox

Emerson Marks said...

Don't he just, S.

I often say to him, 'Oi, Jonesy - when are you gonna be 16?'

You can't fault the boy's dedication though.

Gorilla Bananas said...

If I were the winger I'd lob one over his head to make him look like an arse. He'd have to retrieve it as well because there's no net. That would wipe the grin off his face.

Lulu LaBonne said...

He looks lovely - will we be seeing him in the shower shot?

Leah said...

That is one happy adorable goalkeeper.

Jimmy Bastard said...

It's gonnae be one hell of a good season my friend, but the strict training regime starts now.

.... well after I finish this beer anyway.

Eryl Shields said...

Oh, he's adorable! I bet he stands on his head a lot, too.

Madame DeFarge said...

Is he facing the right way? Or is the opposition behind him?

Fields said...

This nipper is the bomb! We're going to miss him out on pitch though, being our first choice right back 'n all.

Suzanne said...

I have a special place in my heart for soccer. I loved the younger brother "Matt,", but his older brother was the KICK ASS GOAL KEEPER. "Earnest" was voted "All New York" (yes a very, very special honor) in something like 1976 or 75. No I think 76. Maybe 75!!! What? You expect less. Baby, I try at this. Seriously, I do. My recall is not always so perfect! Your goal keeper is adorable and I'm sure very good. All the best to him.

XO

P.S. And baby, thank for the comment. Always fun. :)

Suzanne said...

Also, "thanks."

What? Leave me alone.

Suzanne said...

Oh, also collecting opinions. Back of the head of face?

Suzanne said...

Just having fun with you. His name is Conrad Earnest. I'm sure you can Google him. Trust me, he was very good. And I don't even play soccer!

Emerson Marks said...

Blimey, Suzanne. Conrad Ernest? Now there's a real Amercian name. I've jsut checked him out on Wikpedia. Retired soccer goalkeeper and also a world renowned exercise physiologist. He played for the New York Eagles and the Cleveland Cobras.

Emerson Marks said...

Hello Eryl, Yes, Jonesy is Burridge's clean cut pin up.

Madame - that's an interesting observation. The truth is, I got Jonesy to pose for me after training. There was no game.

The Gaffer said...

Your right we will miss jonesy out on the park but I am grateful for him stepping into the breach.he has matured over the past two years and if it wasn't for suspension last year he would have played more games.See u all Sat for our opening friendly.the gaffer

Suzanne said...

I didn't give you the full story last night and didn't realize it till I read your response on my blog, so came rushing across the Pond! I had no idea Conrad had accomplished so much. I read Wikpedia. Wow. What I failed to mention is Matt and Conrad were two of my high school friends!!! Matt was my age and Conrad was two years older and the most kick ass goalie on our varsity soccer team. Matt was a very dear friend and amazing downhill racer and cyclist and I was madly in love with him, but he was so shy, so we just stayed great friends. One of my brothers and my nephew are named after him. How funny!

After high school I left New York for Rob and college and Matt and our friend Jim hopped on their bikes and cycled from NY to Southern Calfornia, then up the coast of CA to Seattle. Matt fell in love in Seattle, married and never left. We lost touch so that's why I never knew about all of Conrad's wonderful achievements. Wow. And to think, we'd all stand on the sidelines and watch him!!! Of course we all knew he was good, but wow! And to think, our house was just 4 from the soccer field (yes I walked to school through the woods), so I'd try so hard to get home on time, but friends would stop me on the way to watch the soccer game and Conrad. I'd get home late and be grounded!!! Absolutely true story!

Thank you for actually Googling Conrad. I never thought to until I wrote to you, and then I still didn't. His achievement are all news to me and bring a very warm smile to my face because I knew him when. And he was just our friend. And now he's a "famous" friend. How funny. I'm actually more impressed with his PhD than anything else. That's wonderful.

Thank you for Googling and thank you for sharing the information. What fun.

XO

Emerson Marks said...

Yes, Suzanne. My investigations didn't go any further than Wikipedia in finding Conrad Earnest.

Just in case's anyone's wondering what on Earth we're talking about, Conrad Earnest, Suzanne's childhood friend played in goal for the New York Eagles and the Cleveland Cobras between '79 and '81.

These days he's a high flying PhD science type.
My investigations don't go any further than wikipedia.

Suzanne said...

Now see Mr. Marks, I had no idea you refer to a "goalie" as "in goal." I learn something new every day. But technically a goalie stands outside the goal, so what's up?!

Emerson Marks said...

Never thought of it like that, Suzanne. You see, a defender play in defence, and a midfielder plays in midfield, but a striker does not play in strike. He plays up front! Does that clear things up? Probably not!

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