Sunday, 5 July 2009

Back in the saddle

Eat yourself fitter

Pictured above and absolutely nothing to do with what follows in this post: Bryn Schwodler, flanked by Mr & Mrs Rich 'Chinese Monkey' Allan.

68,000 patients needed treatment at the Royal Victoria hospital in Netley during World War 2. At 8pm next Wednesday 20 more names will need to be added to that list. By then Burridge would've finished their first pre-season training session in the grounds where the hospital once stood. Among them will be Lee Fielder, who before next Wednesday, included eating a baked bean pizza as one of the worst memories of his life. “I didn't want to appear rude or ungrateful in front of a mate's parents,” he said about the food Phil Layley's mum served up to him when he visited for tea, “so I ate the whole thing.” When asked if the experience was worse than breaking his leg, Fielder worked a Wrigley's in his heavy jaw and took a moment to think. The hesitation in answering showed just how much he dislikes baked beans. Some people feel the same way about exercise. Quite a few of them play for Burridge

Lee isn't one of them. Exercise remains his unrequited love. X-rays at the Southampton General Hospital found no damage in his knees, that during the last 5 years have forced him into leaving the field of play complaining of pain, sometimes long before the final whistle, until now. Nothing stronger than a pair of size 8 cushion soles have been responsible for him being able to run, for 40 minutes twice a week for the last 3, alongside the mouth of the River Hamble without complaint of anything other than exhaustion.

Anyone who hasn't questioned what effect leading the forward line for the now defunct Albion, 14 years ago aged 16, has had to the deterioration to Fielder's knees, might be inclined to believe that football to him means nothing more than an annual craze that begins in July and peters out by September. Speaking on Friday over a pub lunch, Fielder reiterated just how much he's looking forward to pre season training whilst eyeing up the tomato basil drizzled over the salad garnish that was served with his chicken baguette with the suspicion of a customs officer checking a passport with the name Osama Bin Laden.

The addition of 4 more teams (Hiltingbury, London Airways, Sholing Sports and Warsash Wasps) to the Drew Smith Group Southampton senior division increases the number of Burridge's league games to 26 games this season. If Fielder cannot maintain this newly found fitness it's unclear who else will provide the threat to become the first player to score as many as 15 goals in a season since Fielder did in 2003/04. Judgement at Burridge will largely be reserved until he arrives ready and able to play a game when winter has long since replaced grass with thick mud at most of the division's football pitches, rather than making cameo spectator appearances ten minutes after kick off so to avoid the responsibility of being linesman.

Other player's food hates:

Rich Allan – prawns, simply will not entertain eating them.
Paul Andrews – lots of things.
Kristian Hewitt – tomato ketchup.
Bryn Schwodler – mushrooms, courgettes.
Jay Schwodler – vegetables. More hard line than his brother.
Kev Willsher – not so much a hate, but will not touch beef.


savannah said...

ok, but how's the calendar production coming along, sugar? ;~D xoxoxo

Gorilla Bananas said...

I don't believe any footballers really enjoy vegetables. They look like constipated meat-eaters to me. Lions suffer badly from constipation, which partly why they're such bastards.

Lulu LaBonne said...

I'm with Sav in my calendar anticipation, will it be out by the start of the season?

I'll eat anything, even kittens - are you a fussy eater Mr Marks?

Madame DeFarge said...

Yup, Savvy and Lulu are right. We need calendar boys. My lips are being licked in anticipation.

Fields said...

I think we should really do this calender lads. Who else is up for it?

Emerson Marks said...

Morning all,

I am not a fussy eater.

I don't think the world needs a Burridge calendar.

No surprise to see Lee Fielder volunteering to have his photo taken.

The Gaffer said...

See you all Wednesday lads bring your stop watch Rich looking to do some time trials over a set distance.the gaffer

Rich chinese monkey Allan said...

will bring the old stop watch and will gladly help time the rest of them while watching in the shade.

This is r season boys we own this league hopefully lee will be better with injuries, we find a good goalie ,lukes knee holds up sandy gets his headband out again, bryn stops singing take that songs then we should be in for a good season

The Gaffer said...

looking for some help up the gound either Sunday or one evening next week to paint the portacabin which is going to be our tea hut.We also have some rubbish to move from the straw dugouts!!We need to get the pitch available so that we can get some friendly's sorted for late July early August/the gaffer

Emerson Marks said...

Pete, I'm waiting on 100% confirmation from Chris Laycock of Fareham Borough council, that the pitch (nearer to Botley Road) will be marked and ready for the season. Perhaps even before September because I'm not sure if they still play cricket there. I'll you know ASAP.

And hold on. Tea hut? Who exactly is going to be serving the tea?

Jimmy Bastard said...

More double standards fae the woman-folk. Tsk Tsk.

Emerson Marks said...

Rest assured, Jimmy - I've got my mind focussed on the football and not taking my clothes off.

Leah said...

Drat, I'm too late for the double standard. Has the kibosh been put on the calendar then? You needn't be clothesless, what about wearing your uniforms and fake mustaches?

And I'm still musing on the baked bean pizza...

Emerson Marks said...

No Leah,

If we're to do a calendar, players must pose naked in moody black and white shots, their knackers hidden by a strategically placed bowl of fruit. It's the law.

I don't know who started the calendar idea. It could work. Players in dressed in their football kit. It could be quite easily knocked up with all the pics floating around online.

Donn said...

All of you fussy eaters should be made to stay at the table until every last thing is cleaned off of their plate!

Do you know how hard we work to keep food on the table. We gave up our lives for you selfish little bastards and this is how you repay us?

You'll eat whatever we make young man..don't you know that there are children starving in Africa..
and America..

Who doesn't eat Beef? How do you not like Beef? Unless you are a spy for PETA!!! They plan on making all of us evil Humans start eating other Humans until only animals are left on the planet and then all of the carnivores and omnivores will revert to being herbivores.
I'm pretty sure that PETA thinks that "mean" animals shouldn't eat "cute" animals, because that's not OK.

I confess, I hate..I mean do not prefer artichoke..
and I loathe cilantro ((bleccch))

Emerson Marks said...

What on earth is cilantro? Anyway, Donn - I tend to agree with you. Food isn't something to be passed up. Do you eat much moose up there in Kan-aid-e-ah?

Looking back (bringing back the blog)

I haven't posted here since 2012 – that’s five years of not blogging. The blog is/was about Burridge AFC, the football team I played f...