Monday, 29 January 2007

AFC HOP 0 - 1 BURRIDGE AFC

Saturday 27th January 2007
Cutbush Lane

Burridge earned victory at AFC Hop in only their fourth game in twelve weeks, during a season that has so far been interrupted by heavy rain. Any pre-match nerves were evaporated by Burridge left sided midfielder – Greg Baker; who among the locker room’s stink of liniment, successfully deployed a P.E.D, a Performance Enhancing Distraction to give it its full name. It was Connecticut’s Roger Sperry, winner of 1981’s Nobel Peace Prize for his experimentation on the two sides of the brain, who led us to such terminology. The P.E.D occupies the attention of the left hemisphere of the brain, whereupon analytical functions are located, often responsible for deposits of anxiety, self doubt and all the other negative aspects that can choke a sportsperson’s performance. Just ask Tim Henman.

During 2001’s Wimbledon semi-final, his wild card Croat opponent Goran Invanisevic appeared to be staring defeat in the face, before anxiety overwhelmed Henman. Leaving his forehand as powerful as the timid flicks of a butterfly catcher’s net in pursuit of an aglais urticae. If only Greg Rusedski was on hand to offer Tim his anecdote on Pete Sampras and his inherent fear of dessert spoons. Greg Baker was far more proactive. In a moment of selflessness, he disclosed his much closeted pre-date bathroom grooming ritual, guaranteed to provide longevity to a new relationship. Such was the weight of this revelation, Burridge players and the left hemisphere’s of their brains, were simply unable to manifest doubt. So despite being held back in their own half for much of the first period of the game, Burridge found strength, quite possibly by boring their opponents into submission. Second half substitute Lee Fielder raced onto a through ball and neatly lobbed the ball over the out coming goalkeeper’s clutches for the only goal of the game.

3-4-3: Ben, P.Dyke, J.Schwodler, M.Sanderson, J.Newman (L.Sanderson), G.Baker, J.Hewitt, K.Hewitt (M.Reeves), B.Rowe (L.Fielder), B.Hutton, B.Schwodler Unused sub: M.Birks

Scorer: L.Fielder
Booked: P.Dyke

12 comments:

Kristian said...

Good 3 points on saturday, not the best of games but a good win.
Nice to see Lee back playing and scoring, now all we need is the Iceman back.

Dykey said...

the memeory of harry potter has been put to bed!!!

fields said...

iceman, iceman. wherefore art thou iceman?

pete said...

I agree seeing we have not played for the best part of 2 months and were a bit ring rusty it was a good result away from home and a clean sheet.They were not the best but we ground out a important win.See you all Wednesday I hope there's not too many casualties from Sats game.the gaffer

fields said...

i think kev may be grounded...

seriously, has anyone spoke to, or seen him recently? we may need him to play on saturday!

Rogan Josh said...

Kev will be back, just not 'til September. Lee, do you think you can manage a second consecutive substitute appearance? 'Ave you ever tried WD-40 on your stiff knee? I wouldn't, it's not for knees, it's for locks and things like that.
Careful what you say in the work toilets. We all know that diligent employers pay for the services of mirror men; who sit behind the semi-translucent glass taking notes on seditious comments. Involved in their underground network, I have stumled upon some classified information that suggests that Rich Allan will return to Burridge.

Man eating ewoks ate Imre Varadi said...

Transfer news: Wildern Old Boys Reserves in for Jay Schwodler in exchange for washing detergent and and labour costs to reduce the height of Burridge's training field fence.

Rare species of cormorant shags successfully released from captivity nest in Toni Polster's hair. said...

Talks break down when Wildern OB Reserves are unable to find anyone on the face of the earth who has a ladder tall enough to carry out the training ground alterations.

Nery Pumpido regenerates into Sergei Goichechea in 1990 & nobody notices said...

Is Epsen Bardsen Watford's greatest ever keeper? No, Tony Coton is. Not Alec Chamberlain.

John Dreyer: 1989 Luton Town penalty genius said...

I've got a jumper made of leaves, but they fall off in Winter. Pretty useless, really. Ask Greg's real Dad: Graham Baker. He sold me it.

Craig Allardyce said...

pssst cant name names, but one of my clients, one of last seasons player of year winners who left, is wanting to come back. As i'm a legitimate agent, no brown envelope would be required.....

IAN CROOK said...

You stopped talking by such gradual increases you took the natural step of turning into an inanimate object.

Looking back (bringing back the blog)

I haven't posted here since 2012 – that’s five years of not blogging. The blog is/was about Burridge AFC, the football team I played f...