Burridge Still Waiting On Sandwiches

Saturday 15th August 2008
Pre-Season Friendly
Colden Common 2-1 Burridge AFC

Burridge were left shell shocked after their 2-1 pre-season defeat at the hands of Colden Common when they were not offered sandwiches in the Black Horse - the public house over the road from the Main Road Recreation Ground that Colden Common frequent after games. Burridge captain Kristian Hewitt’s thorough search of the public bar didn’t find so much as an empty packet of pork scratchings let alone a tray of sandwiches cut into triangles. Reaction was divided in the Burridge camp to the absence of any sandwiches. Some players held a bar side vigil for them, whilst others chose to leave the Black Horse for team sponsor - the Bugle Inn in Botley, believing that even if the sandwiches existed they’d be congealed by the time of discovery and not fit for consumption.

Burridge had been dealt an even larger blow when being left with the refereeing bill. Although no strangers to financing large sums of money to the Southampton refereeing Association, Burridge felt it the home side’s duty to cover refereeing costs as is practise in the Southampton Senior League. Colden Common pointed to the mowed playing surface and the one gallon Tupperware pitcher of refreshment complete with a set of matching plastic tumblers they’d supplied as hosts. It remains unclear if that liquid was supermarket’s own orange squash or a known brand of isotonic fluid because Justin Newman poured the whole lot down his throat without paying any attention to flavour or his team mates.

The refreshments were appreciated but Burridge didn’t think that they justified a refereeing bill that came to a staggering twenty-eight pounds. A full three pounds over the highest payment they’d ever made to a referee. Although unable to deduce exactly what this 12% increase covered, they were pretty sure it wasn’t football boots. Not judging by the referee’s choice of Patrick, which despite being well maintained with dubbin were part of a range that stopped being produced at the turn of the century.

Burridge Manager Pete Lyons had the capital available in his trouser pocket and paid the referee in full. The club’s finances have been under scrutiny of late after auditors found suspension monies that remain outstanding to club chairman Barrie Becheley. An unnamed source pointed the blame in the direction of Sam Schwodler, whose one hundred and twenty-day repayment terms have been breached. Chief executive of British American Tobacco - Paul Adams, was quick to leap to Schwodler’s defence, allegedly commenting that such claims were totally spurious and that Schwodler remains one of the industry’s leading creditors of the last ten years.

Burridge have two pre-season games left before the big kick off.

4-3-3: R.Rookie, L.Sanderson, K.Hewitt (c ), M.Sanderson, Baker, Judd, Jones, Newman, Fielder (S.Schwodler), S.Hewitt, B.Schwodler

H/T: 1-2

Scorer: Lee Fielder - Direct from a right wing cross.