Of Course I Don't Mind Sharing My Birthday With Your Wedding

The clock is ticking, not long 'til the big day now, and what's more - Scott Burnet's getting married.

It takes a big man to know that his wedding day is always going to play second fiddle to somebody else's birthday celebrations. So when I found out my buddy and former Burridge skipper Scott Burnet was getting hitched to Kaiyee Tang, in Nottingham in September, I knew what he was driving at. I’m not going to lie to you, I’m a popular guy. People tend to like what I’m all about. If all the people we share as friends had to choose whether they were going to Scott’s wedding or getting messy with me on the brewskis, I’ve got a pretty good idea where most people would end up.

Let's face it, driving the 168 miles up the M1 to Nottingham for a Monday morning was always going to be a tough sell. So once people got wind that the wedding thing coincided with my thirtieth birthday it was a case of what are we waiting for? Let's get the Hell up to Nottingham while gas is still whatever it is a litre and get wasted. Hey, while we're there why not check out Scott's wedding. Why not indeed, you’d be crazy not to. Once that's done there’s always the mini bar in my hotel room. Then when we're through we can throw that twelve inch Panasonic TV out the window, get the party started by getting rock 'n' roll on Travelodge's ass.

I’m pretty close to the Burnet family. Scott’s dad - Stu, well he’s like an uncle to me. I’ve shot the breeze over a Heineken on his beautifully maintained lawn on at least two occasions in the last five years. He might tell me how his day working down the docks has been and I know it’s his way of saying as much as he loves his first born son, he would totally prefer to the sink some jager-bombs with your’s truly than go all the way up to Nottingham and see Scott get married. So well done, Scott. It was good thinking having this double whammy.

I even heard you're getting a cake. Guys, you shouldn't have - what's that? It's your wedding cake? Oh, I get it, it's a surprise. You've even disguised the fact that it’s my birthday cake by putting a miniature bride and groom on the top layer. The groom’s even got ginger hair, just like Scott! I don’t know? All that trouble just so I didn’t think that it's really my birthday cake. That's sweet, it really is - but I guess it is my thirtieth.