It's No Good Lads, You're Going To Have Play In Your Pants & Vest......

Saturday 4th October 2008
Cup - Burridge AFC 1-3 Mottisfont

Greg Baker usually slept in late on Saturday mornings, but today was different. He pulled the duvet aside, left the warmth of his bed, stood on the beige nylon carpet that lay in his bedroom and looked out the window to face a grey morning. His generation are faced with many pressing issues. If it’s not adapting to greener living by saving energy and raw materials in order to preserve our planet, it’s trying to make sense of the consequences of our war against terrorism. And how do we withstand the pressure to conform to having every single room in our homes fitted out with laminate flooring?

These concepts have been too much for some to bear, but not Baker. For he always had strong feelings about nylon fibre carpet. He believed they offered both tremendous value and performance, as well as allowing an ease of maintenance almost unsurpassed when it comes to hiding residual soil and traffic. He thought of nothing but laying its intricate synthetic weave met square against the skirting board. Or at least he did.

Burridge’s training sessions used to be on the indoor carpet at Fleming Park Leisure Centre. The surface was nothing more than functional. The threadbare green stitching provided by a limited government grant was unattractive and as such Baker paid it little attention. Then Burridge began training at Wildern school on the multi-use games area, commonly known as Muga. Baker was instantly captivated with its beauty. He could walk all over that polyurethane for an hour every week.

After returning from these weekly sessions he was unaware of the many hundreds of black rubber polymers that collected in his shoes and socks. When he removed them in his flat he’d leave large deposits of the inconspicuous rubber all over his beige carpet. Baker sat quietly in the home dressing room along with his team-mates, facing the prospect of playing county league outfit Mottisfont in their pants and vest because Mark Sanderson was running late with the Burridge kit. He knew that the only way to remain true to himself would be to stop seeing his carpet immediately and move in the artificial turf.

3-4-3: Stanfield, L.Sanderson, Willsher, J.Schwodler, B.Schwodler, Reeves (Newman), Allan, K.Hewitt (Baker), Judd (Andrews), Rowe, S.Schwodler

Unused sub: M.Sanderson

H/T: 0-1

Scorer: Marc Judd - far post header that put Burridge right back in it.

Quote of the day: "Why can't we put our chances away," Bryn Schwodler in the Bugle Inn, after earlier missing what is called in the trade as an open goal.

booked: Ben Rowe - foul play