Friday 23 October 2009

Preview: Michelmersh Stiffs

Ben Hutton and Bryn Schwodler prepare free-kick during rare six goal feast at Michelmersh in October '08.

What gives?


Burridge look forward to welcoming Michelmersh and Timsbury stiffs and their gaffer, the bloke with the folded arms in that black tracksuit with the amber trim. Let's call him amber trim tracksuit man, who gives his bunch very loud encouragement. His gob will be competing for listeners with Paul Dyke's tannoy-esque announcements from the Burridge back four. The likelihood is that they'll cancel each other out. Amber trim tracksuit man is slightly hindered by his inability to offer a balanced view on the game, while some in the Burridge squad seem to be suffering from mild cases of Dyke-fatigue, whereupon over exposure causes the sufferer deaf ears to Dyke's grave defensive warnings.

Bad moon rising

February 2008. Ten minutes left. Burridge two goals up. Only now, eighteen months on, do I seem to recall the referee lurking on the wing in the vicinity of Kristian Hewitt, like some shifty Mark Chapman type. Then, unannounced he pulled out his weapon, in this case a red card, showing it twice in quick succession to Hewitt and his younger brother Sam. Result being that Burridge were too busy arguing the toss with the referee to notice Michelmersh scoring three quick winning goals.

Previous games between the sides

Won 5-0 (26th September '09)
Won 4-0 (4th April '09)
Won 6-1 (11th October '08)
Lost 2-3 (23rd February '08) click here for a match report.
Drew 1-1 (17th November '07)
Won 4-0 (24th January '04)
Won 3-0 (25th October '03)

Michelmersh Stiffs' last three results

Michelmersh 1-1 Durley Stiffs
Michelmersh 0-3 Hythe Dibden Sneaky Stiffs who aren't stiffs.
BTC Stiffs 2-1 Michelmersh Stiffs

Speculation

Sir David Frost lives somewhere around Michelmersh. Will this be the Saturday he decides to watch his alleged local side? Probably not.

5 comments:

Barlinnie said...

Sadly, Sir David is otherwise engaged elsewhere. I can however offer up the services of a certain Mr Mowbray, complete with his scrapbook full of pish poor ideas.

He's very soon to be free on most weekends, the useless wee prick.

savannah said...

well, ok, sugar! i'll be thinking about all y'all kickin ass and takin no prisoners! and hopefully, y'all will sent positive vibes on sunday across the pond for my beloved new orleans saints as they wage war on the miami dolphins! xoxoxo

Lulu LaBonne said...

I've just put a tenner on you to win - don't disappoint me Marky

Gorilla Bananas said...

The two-goal lead is very deceptive, isn't it? I would have picked up the ref and thrown him at opposing players. He can't send himself off, can he?

Madame DeFarge said...

To my jaundiced eyes, they look like they're about to start dancing in some ghastly version of a Highland jig

Looking back (bringing back the blog)

I haven't posted here since 2012 – that’s five years of not blogging. The blog is/was about Burridge AFC, the football team I played f...