Burridge 1-3 Netley Central

Sid Hewitt lost no sleep over Buridge's loss to Netley. The first game he'd been to in a fortnight couldn't keep him awake. When Netley scored their third goal he was busy catching zeds. Burridge haven't won for three weeks. That's seven days before Sid was born.

(pictured) Lee Fielder puts hands on head after Bryn Schwodler goes close to scoring.

He was wheeled from the car park in a four wheeled convertible buggy by his mum Donna to watch his dad Kristian captain Burridge. It turned out to be a good day for sleeping. Sam Schwodler was on the touchline wearing zipped up black Adidas and a thinly veiled admiration for Liam Gallagher.

Sam joined a huddle of substitutes and spectators getting their first look at Sid, and asked Donna how he was sleeping at nights. Sam was told by the huddle that they'd done that one already. Taking a moment to think Sam asked how Sid's poo was. It was a welcome distraction to Netley's two goal first half lead, which led Burridge centre back Kev Willsher into interrogating his team mates from his position on the edge of the penalty area.

Burridge got Kev's message loud and clear. Netley got theirs by text on Friday afternoon from Burridge's club secretary. It read: we're in blue. Netley's secretary forwarded it to their manager. He neglected to mention that 'we' was actually 'they,' so Netley arrived with kit the same colour blue as Burridge. In order to make a distinction between the two team's colours, Netley wore yellow training bibs over their shirts.

The referee had the head of a freshly dug up turnip. Netley swore at it when they felt things didn't go their way. This occurred continually. It didn't impress Kristian Hewitt. He didn't think he'd ever heard so much swearing at a referee. Paul Dyke agreed. At half time he stood with his arms folded tightly across his chest, unsure why the referee chose not to punish Netley for calling him a cheat.

Richie Allan was replaced in the second half by Lee Fielder, whose goal briefly reduced the arrears to a single goal. Netley scored their third, which sealed the game, shortly afterwards. Later, in the Bugle Inn, Bryn Schwodler sat on a bar stool, swirling the remains of lager around his pint glass asking me not to mention how the ball sneaked through his legs when six yards away from goal. I said I wouldn't.

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