Nothing like a bit of handbags at ten paces
Date:Wednesday 1st April
Casual violence is up there with watching TV as one of Britain's biggest pastimes. Until now it had been measured by a simple scientific formula, with the likelihood of a good old tear up being directly proportional to the number of pints of Stella consumed. That was until the recession started squeezing pubs out of business , effectively threatening violence's natural habitat with extinction. We were momentarily forced to imagine a future where our children would have to make do with meeting up late at night in McDonald's car parks for their ultra violence. It didn't bear thinking about.
(pictured: Lee Fielder - aggressive)
So thank goodness for football. The sport that offers men a wonderful opportunity of not only being able to fully express their violent rage without having to spend lots of money on lager, but also without the hassle of being killed dead in the process. Let's say you grab some bloke around the throat down The Woodman in Lordshill because he looked at you in a manner you deemed ambiguous. It's unlikely you'll be invited outside to remove your tunic for a spot of the old Queensbury rules, mainly because you'll already be lying face down in a pool of your own blood.
Pictured: Jay Schwodler, and Dad, Pete, who was in attendance for the game - (other son Sam went against both Bryn Schwodler and and his Dad Pete's advice and went to his heavily pregnant missus' anti-natal class)
That's what's great about football - you don't have to worry about getting stabbed. Instead, the great game allows men like Lee Fielder, who aren't much more than a tin of special brew over five feet tall, to forget about self preservation, common sense, and anything else that prevents you from getting a good kicking, to go eyeball to eyeball with Northend's manager and call him a fat bastard.
Pictured; Jonesy and Sammy Hewitt - strange hotel bedding ritual
To read some more serious guff about Burridge, Peter Crouch and Richie Allan go to The Times Online by clicking here
The Burridge side who lost 1-0 to Northend were:
Saturday - home to Michelmersh & Timsbury