Sunday, 5 April 2009

Saturday 5th April

Sight to behold

A persistent back injury kept Kev Willsher out of the game he loves dearly for almost eighteen months. But against Michelmersh he was once again an absolute colossus at the heart of Burridge's defence. Opposing centre forwards are going to have to rethink their strategy when playing against him. I'd suggest exposing him to kryptonite. The only sight more impressive on a fine Saturday afternoon was that of his sister on the sidelines. Truly magnificent.

(Pictured above) Kev Willsher, upstaged by sister.

Naughty Boy

It came as no surprise when Sam Schwodler was sent off during the second half for swearing at the referee. What was surprising was that this was his first ever red card. It was a bit like waking up next to Paris Hilton and finding out that last night was the first time she'd ever had it up the chuff. It's probably fair to say that Sam Schwodler doesn't spend his spare time tuning into the Antiques Roadshow and reciting Keats to his pregnant girlfriend. But just because he has a total disregard for the smoking ban in pubs by his sixth or seventh turbo-shandy, isn't reason to assume he's been sent off before. One should only base that assumption on the fact that the 26 year old has bellowed the really bad swear word, the one that girls aren't too keen on, in the face of nearly every referee in the county.

(Pictured above) Sam Schwodler gets red card from referee.

What a tart

The English Summer of 2009 was about an hour and 17 minutes old when Lee Fielder decided to take his shirt off. As soon as the sun comes out he develops this terrible aversion to clothes and starts walking near anything in a skirt whilst tensing his stomach muscles and showing off that sculpted physique of his. I make fun of him when he starts doing this because firstly, I think he's a ponce, and secondly because I'm jealous I can't do likewise without kids getting upset when I tell them I'm neither Austin Powers or working at the local circus.

(Pictured above) Sammy Hewitt makes it 4-0 to Burridge.

This week Burridge gaffer, Pete Lyons went with a 4-4-2 formation:

GK:Ben Stanfield
RB:Jay Schwodler (Ryan Jones)
CB:Marc Judd
LM:Bryn Schwodler
CM:Rich Allan (Mark Reeves)
CM:Justin Newman
RM:Kristian Hewitt (Greg Baker)
CF:Sam Hewitt
CF:Sam Schwodler – red card for dissent

Burridge Goals were scored by:

1-0 Bryn Schwodler - kept it low from the edge of the box.
2-0 Their goalkeeper diverted the ball into his own net.
3-0 Me - header, after Bryn headed across from the back post
4-0 Sammy Hewitt - Nonchalantly lobbed the ball over the goalkeeper's head.

Next week Burridge get on the 17 seater mini-bus for the journey to Liverpool for Richie Allan's stag do.

Kick off is 8:30am.


wilts said...

Cheers sandford, i don't know what i've done to deserve such praise! Very pleased though with the ways things have gone this season especially after so long out. Im sure my sister will be delighted that she has a secret admirer in your good self.

Good result and performance, lets take it into wednesdays game, Netley lost 6-4 saturday so lets have a real go.

Fields said...

Good work with this weeks blog Sandersons.

Nice to get win lads. I called it early in the 1st half that Sammy H would get a goal, and what a beauty!

In my defence, it was pretty hot on the sidelines, so going shirtless was completly justified in my opinion. Plus, I promised the ref at half-time that I would. :)

Jimmy Bastard said...

Great result, good commentary, but for my money.. the Marmite looked just a smidgen offside!

MJ said...

Kindly remove your shirt so that we can be the judges as to whether you more clearly resemble Austin Powers or a member of the circus.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Keep your shirt on but shave your head to maximise your talent for headers. I don't approve of them myself, but you may as well use whatever you've got. I hope you're going to fine Schwodler for using foul language. What kind of example does that set for the fans?

Anonymous said...

He most definately resembles a member of the circus, in more ways than one!

Scarlet-Blue said...

Lets hope it's a long hot summer and that SOMEBODY HAS A CAMERA HANDY NEXT TIME....
And breathe....

The Gaffer said...

Yes good result kept working and a clean sheet which is the first for a while. need deposits for Burr do Fri 15th May, hope you can all make it.i agree with Sandy Kev best player on the park by a mile. see you all Wed

Emerson Marks said...

Wilts: secret?

Jimmy: you're continual support is appreciated.

MJ: Just think greek waiter combined with Sasquatch.

Gorilla: Don't worry. Sam Schwodler has plenty of fines to cough up.

Scarlet:We can but hope. I'm still hoping to get my hands on some pretty lively video footage.

Gaffer: Wenesday indeed.

wilts said...

your right mate, your not exactly subtle! Also thanks for the compliment gaffer, all i need now is a goal before the season ends!

Lukey said...

Kev, I thought you should have won a few more in the air, but there you go. No, joking aside it was a good performance. Let's turn Netley over Weds night!!!!

Lee, we need to beat 64 headers. I'm just gonna check the world record.

Lukey said...

We need to work on it Fields, the longest time for heading a ball without dropping it is 8 hr 32 min 3 sec.....

Lulu LaBonne said...

you've opened my eyes to a whole new world Mr Marks - think I'm addicted to Burridge's travails now

fields said...

Sheesh Lukey, over 8 hours?? That's longer than the Star Wars trilogy!

This blog is becoming more addictive than facebook..

Madame DeFarge said...

I am distraught that I am now following Burridge with more interest than I do Morton (a family affair). I think that Mr Willsher may present a challenge to Mr Fielder in the 'whoar' stakes, especially as Scarlet has cornered that market.

wilts said...

Thanks Madam DeFarge, your comments are much appreciated! Im sure Fielder won't mind, he's got more than enough!

donncoppens said...

Until I discovered this site, I never truly understood or appreciated how all encompassing a "sports" blog should be?

Although there is scant photographic evidence that Kev Willsher's sister was actually there, your description of her effect on you and the spectators was riveting..

"I shall never forget how distractingly impressive Kev's sister was..
as she stood on the sidelines clapping her hands, a break in the clouds appeared...
the wind began gently tossing her hair as if angels surrounded her...
the sun gently glistening on her perfect, glowing, face as she turned her head...

i n s l o w m o t i o n...

and then she exposed a brilliant smile that momentarily blinded me..
a moment that I shall never-ever-ever-ever forget.

As she lifted a wisp of her hair from those pouty lips our eyes met just as the ball struck me 'ead...
when I awoke, the entire team was screaming bloody murder!

I love the way you add all of these extra layers..
this kind of honesty and vulnerability will make you very rich & famous someday.

Emerson Marks said...

Your add-lib is pretty much how Kev's sister 'happened,' Donn.

In my head at least.

Looking back (bringing back the blog)

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