Monday, 20 April 2009

Sick

Saturday 18th April
Jones Lane, Hythe
Hythe & Dibden 4-1 Burridge

It was about a quarter of an hour after coming on as a substitute that Mike Reid ran off the pitch. He stopped under the shade of a giant oak tree and let quite a lot of sick come out of his mouth. Some of the sick fell onto the grass, but a substantial amount of sick was more than happy to go all over the front of his Burridge shirt. Hopefully the girl I dropped the kit off to at the laundrette will just think it was some sort of catering accident involving several pounds of diced carrots, and not sick.

Pictured above: Mike Reid - serious chunder

We were short on numbers on Saturday. Some of the lads were in Barbados for Kristian Hewitt's wedding and Hythe had done us by 4 goals to 1 to win the league title. Then, straight after the final whistle, some bloke starts trying to tap up Kev Willsher for next season. Burridge without the Willsher-machine would be like a party where the only refreshments are weak lemon cordial and a stale packet of ginger nut biscuits. It would be crap and everyone would leave.


Burridge's goal was a cracker and it was scored by Ben Rowe.

1.GK:Ben Wilson
2.LB:Me
3.CB:Ben Hutton (Mike Reid)
4.CB:Kev 'ice-man' Willsher
5.RB:Greg 'he did, you know' Baker
6.LM:The Mark Reeves
7.CM:Rich 'Chinese Monkey' Allan
8.CM:Fan's favourite, Justin Newman
9.CM:Marc Judd
10.CF:Sam 'jackers' Schwodler (Lee Fielder)
11.CF:Ben 'the ox' Rowe

Operating table: Luke Sanderson

PS that's not a typo, Ben Hutton did play at centre half. And well too.

19 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Did anyone say he was as sick as a parrot? I believe a TV critic once described a cup final as "an ongoing moon-parrot saga".

wilts said...

I was totally oblivious to what was going on with poor mikey, i heard it was to do with dietery habits before football matches?? i think i was too busy getting roughed up by My Oakley up front to notice, he's left me a lovely souvenir in the form of a big black eye, cheers mate, good player though!

Emerson Marks said...

Ah, Bananas - first again. No, I don't think they did. It seemed everybody was fairly happy to let the young skamp just quietly get on to sick up.

Wilts. The vultures are circling and your future remains unclear to me. Reveal your intentions, man - I can't bear it any longer.

wilts said...

Just thought i'd add that i think we did ok saturday, they were a good side, probably the best we have played all season in the league, can see why they won the league. No disgrace in losing to a good side. We need to win the last 2 games though, we don't want the embaressment of finishing 3rd bottom. winning the 2 remaining fixtures should see to that!

Come on boys big effort now, see you all wednesday!

Emerson Marks said...

That's it Ice-Man. Send out a rallying cry whilst totally ignoring my question. What a true professional.

wilts said...

Sandy you know me, i love playing with you guys and hopefully that will be the case next season. Just to be back playing is liberating enough. Im not trying to engineer a move away if thats what your thinking.

I feel as skipper for the remaining fixtures its my job to issue a rallying cry, no one else does!

Emerson Marks said...

Woah! Hold it right there. The word any journalist would magnify to the size of a house is 'hopefully.'

Hopefully?!

Oh God, it's the end of the Roman Empire. I'm taking the scotch to bed with me.

Istvanski said...

I sympathise with Mike's David Beckham moment. I've often wondered why a pavement pizza always has diced carrots. Next time, why not try eating chicken and chips after drinking 6 pints of blackcurrant snakebite. Those purple lumps are summat else...

wilts said...

I just want us to better next year mate, like we all do! I will be at burridge for pre-season training.

Jimmy Bastard said...

I'll be sending an envoy down next season to check on the progress and intimidate the ref's.

I might even put in an appearance masel.

Do your drinking on a Friday neet, keep a clear head for Sundays games.

Emerson Marks said...

No Jimmy! Switch that. Games are on Saturday 2pm kick off.

Although I don't think booze is the main problem. I think we need a pre-season weigh in and a hellish pre-season to whip us into fighting machines.

Istvanski. Welcome. We have a very refutable outlet called Chicken Land around the corner from my flat where you can get something just like that.

Lulu LaBonne said...

you've got it bang on Emerson - girls can't tell chunder from a bit of carrot soup - we're a bit daft that way

The Gaffer said...

Good oufit Hythe and deservered the title playing good football.With our depleted squad we gave them a good run for there money and with a bit of luck could have been tighter than the 4-1 score line.Green Park tomorrow against Inmar and Durley Sat @ home to finish our season.Same 13 involved lets get back to winning ways and secure a healthy mid table finish after what has been a frustrating season.Barrie needs monies for the end of season do £17.50 a head on Friday 15th May.He has booked the ferry and has to pay for a hundred so if there is a short fall Burridge has too pay.I would like your support on what is Burridges 20th Anniversay.I know it has been an expensive year for all of you but you could bring a hip flask!! Feel free to bring friends and family but we do need all your support.the gaffer

Emerson Marks said...

LLB: Not daft. Just with sweeter minds that couldn't possibly imagine a world where a man hands in laundry with sick on it.

Leah said...

I'm scared of sick. I had to peek at the pic through my fingers, but luckily I couldn't make anything out.

I've said it before--I'm a girly girl.

fields said...

we like girly girls at burridge.

Madame DeFarge said...

I had been tempted to potter down to the touchline to see your manly forms running about the pitch and gaze at Mr Willshire. However, if you're going to be throwing up all over the place, I'll stick to the dusting.

(and back luck about the black eye)

Emerson Marks said...

Nobody likes sick, Leah. Only the people in Greg Baker's DVDs.

Mr Willsher is a fine specimen. Enjoy him while you can, I'm not sure how long Burridge can keep hold of him.

wilts said...

MD, you are welcome down at Burridge anytime! Your presence might just inspire me to new levels! Hopefully thats the last of the sick episodes though.

Im not going anyway soon Mr Sandford, so you can enjoy me for a while longer!

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