Thursday, 16 April 2009

Knees up

Apart from the transsexuals among us I don't think that there's anybody who looks forward to operations. But as far as I know Luke Sanderson wasn't going into the Royal South Hants to be fitted with a vagina, he was there to have an investigative operation on his left knee.

There was nothing untoward when the Burridge left-back fell over clutching his knee against Inmar on 31st January. The doctor said it was torn cartilage and referred him to a surgeon, who arranged for him to have an arthroscope to shave away the floating cartilage.

The operation went smoothly. He came around from the anaesthetic, got wheeled back to the ward, had a sandwich, and then the surgeon told him he wouldn't play football again. It wasn't only the cartilage that was damaged, he'd torn the anterior cruciate ligament.

(Pictured above: Luke Sanderson - keen on the idea of a knee transplant.

When professional footballers like Michael Owen knacker their cruciate knee ligament they get sent to the States to see the world's number one knee specialist, Dr Richard Steadman. He reconstructs the patient's knee by forming a new ligament from a fresh serum of monkey glands and very strong glue. Or something like that.

It wouldn't have been that much bigger a shock to Luke had the surgeon told him that during the operation he'd accidentally sawn off his penis. Having to hang up his boots at the age of 27 is almost as bad as a future only being able to pleasure ladies with two fingers.

14 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

That's sad, but it least it will give him more time to pleasure the ladies. I see he's got a tongue he's not embarrassed to flaunt. Anyone remember the tongue-wiggling scene in Scarface? All the girls know what it means.

Emerson Marks said...

Is this true girls?

Mr Bananas - what type of injuries have you sustained in the jungle?

Gorilla Bananas said...

Apart from a touch of arse-cramp, I have been fortunate in avoiding injury. Others have suffered loss of hand, loss of foot, loss of head, etc.

I wish I had a clip of that scene from Scarface. It's not pornographic.

wilts said...

Im feeling gutted for you Giggsy, i just hope you can make a recovery and get on that football pitch again. Try and be strong mate.

Emerson Marks said...

During an amateur game in Iraq a player was shot dead by a supporter as he was about to score in the last minute.

The Buhairat striker only had the keeper to beat when he got shot in the head.

Fields said...

jeez.. now that's harsh. wouldn't need to bother wasting a bullet with our strikers though, would ya?!

Lulu LaBonne said...

I want to hear about the party you put on to make him feel better about this tragedy

Madame DeFarge said...

Hang up boots or bang up hoots - each bad.

I hope he a) recovers from the op, b) kicks the shins of his doctor and c) can hopefully get back on the pitch and help Burridge reach the heights.

Emerson Marks said...

Cheers girls. Either of you any good in goal. We're missing a bloody goalkeeper this afternoon.

Madame DeFarge said...

I'd love to say that I'm good at keeping balls out of the back of my net, but that just wouldn't be right.

savannah said...

yikes! i know it's probably akin to blasphemy here, sugar, but is there another sport he can take up? i do wish him well and a smooth recovery! xoxoxo

Lukey said...

I will be back! As God is my witness I will be back. It's all about the comeback. I'll wear those blue and black stripes again....

Fields said...

Yeah, but where are you going to play?? I witnessed on Saturday afternoon, your brother, control a ball from height on his LEFT foot and send it up the line for the strikers to latch onto. The ball went out of play granted, but it was a site to behold Lukey I've gotta say.

Lukey said...

Don't worry Fields, I can smash the ball off the pitch like the best of them. That's the full back way. Control it, then Launch it! Or just Launch it.

Looking back (bringing back the blog)

I haven't posted here since 2012 – that’s five years of not blogging. The blog is/was about Burridge AFC, the football team I played f...